Amen to that. They all think that they are special, and that the men they found are perfect for them, so much more compatible than we are for them, we are fundemenatlly flawed, etc.
There is a book called "When Love Dies" by Judy Bodmer(sp?) and its written by a WAW, and each chapter she addresses a Lie she was telling herself and she dismisses it based on reason. 15 chapters:
1. Its for the best (i'll be happier) 2. Its better for the children (if i'm happier they'll be happier) 3. You don't know how bad things are (basically how she rewrote history and focused on the bad) 4. You don't know my husband (the he's fundementally flawed) 5. I can't forgive or forget (how her resentment was making herself unhappy - not her husband - his transgressions were minor) 6. I can't change who I am (basically the i won't change, i should find someone more compatible, or the I have changed and we've grown apart) 7. I can't change the way I feel (THE OLD STANDARD, but she shows how her past and childhood caused her to overreact to minor transgressions) 8. I had so many dreams (the I am being honest to myself only now, I was lying to myself during our marriage argument) 9. I don't love him. 10. We can't talk (how her own resentment would cause her to sabotage any chance for actual conversation and closeness) 11. i feel so angry (resentment) 12. I married the wrong man (the OM, and the emotional infidelity - when she focused on another man her husband could do no right in her eyes) 13. I don't want him to touch me. 14. I don't feel loved. 15. I just want to be happy.
Its meant for WAWs to read, but i found it really insightful to see just how standard my wifes arguments are. They all say the same things, and most of it is just them lying to themselves so they can be okay with the damage they are doing to their families, without actually trying to work on the marriage.
