Love, what is it, is it real, does it matter?

[LoginName]

This is coming from my sitch, but I think it's universal. I didn't see a better forum to post this in. We'll see if it works here.

ILYBINILWY. What does it mean?

I think you can be concerned for someone, care for someone, like someone's company, but is that love? How many of us have found ourselves in a M/R that felt like "just roommates or friends"? Nothing wrong with being friends, but what if you want more?

Intimacy. Is that what it is? Not love (no such thing?) but there is intimacy that can build, grow, and nurish.

Or is there something special, a feeling unique to the emotion called love?

Is love a choice? What does that mean? I can chose to care about someone, or be a freind. Can I chose to love? Does it depend on how you define love?

I love my kids. It's so instinctual I can't doubt it. It's not the same as the love I thought I had, wish I had, want to have, with my W.

My W says she cares for me, she likes me, she thinks I'm a great dad, she enjoys my company - but she doesn't "LOVE" me. She says she doesn't believe, especially at our age, in that lightening bolt, uncontrollable feeling of love, but I think that must be what she is waiting for. Does it exist? Does it last? Is serial marriage the only way to keep that feeling alive?

I'd really like to hear,read your thoughts on love.