Actually, intent is key, and makes a big difference.
"If you don't start having sex with me, I'm divorcing you."
"I will not live in a sexless marriage."
One statement is punitive. The other is honoring self, regardless of what the other chooses (because you leave it up to them). The end result may be the same, but instead of imagining yourself saying one or both of these sentences, imagine yourself on the receiving end of them, and think about which one you might be more likely to respond to. Probably not either one, at first.
