25, No I am her first husband. She was in a relationship prior to me that was not good at all. She is now saying that because of that relationship she was in a bad spot when she decided to marry me. We dated for three years and if I was not a good fit don't you think that she would have recognized it. I agree that I need to stop telling her that what she is doing is wrong. I have for the most part done just that, but I have back slided a bit in that area recently.
As for financial security, I probably do not make as much as her Doc friend but I have always brought in more then enough for us to live a nice lifestyle. We have always made wise decision with the resources that we have. She does not have to work, but always has worked part time as a way to get out of the house and keep her clinical skills current.
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They do not feel selfish OR if they do, they have justified it with their marital revisions and only time and space (meaning no attacking their choices) will allow them to again feel the love and to let the good memories resurface.
I agree 100%.
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or if she is simply the greatest actress of all time. If she tells you she was never happy, never loved you, blah blah blah, jammer jammer, clang clang---- then nominate her for an Oscar. She'd deserve it.
She just might win a lifetime achievement award.
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SO, if you can do it without calling attention to yourself, I'd be VERY available with the kids --doing things with them, spending TIME and planning the time. Sitting around or on the phone so she KNOWS you are doing this without you "showing" her, and have the kids help so they get excited and you will be with them and having fun.
I am doing everything that I can with my girls. We went away a couple of weeks ago and they had a blast. We are going camping this weekend and my 5D cannot stop talking about it. As I have been making plans with our girls I have left the door open for my W to join us. I do not directly come out and say why don't you join us, I leave it up to her to decide if she wants to come along or not.
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Try hard to be upbeat and not show anger to her.
I agree this is hard to do though I am doing a pretty good job with this rightnow. To her face I am upbeat and doing the things a good Dber would do. Although when she turns her back I say(to myself) and do what I is on my mind and heart.
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So, you gotta act like, or better yet, "BE a MAN ONLY A FOOL WOULD LEAVE".
Like FIB posted earlier when people tell his W that she is lucky to be married to a Doc, etc.... He hears the nails in the coffin getting hammered down. I feel the sameway. Everytime someone tells my W that she is lucky to have me or that she has one of the good ones. I to hear the nails getting hammered home. These responces from people only remind her of all the reasons that she wants to leave.
