the logistics are a nightmare. H didn't get his PCS orders approved in enough time to make reasonable transporation arrangements. So he's buying a $2000 ticket out of pocket in order to be able to spend time with us before he goes back to gt his HHG.
Yes, on his past three leaves he flew to his parents in Missouri instead of to where S and I are. The first two times, I expected it because we hadn't really re-established much of an R and I was living at my mom's. But the last time I was really, really, really hurt. After that I began to seriously consider leaving the R and finding a job on the west coast where I would like to settle (and H DOESN'T) and moving on with my life.
That last leave didn't start out very well or end very well. The middle was ok. But it was just clear to me that S and I were not high on H's list of people he wanted to be with. High on his list of financial obligations, maybe. After his leave was over and I'd very quickly left the scene, I wrote him an email about how hurt I'd been that he'd chosen to go to his parents house instead so that he only spent half of his yearly leave (a week or so) with S and I. And I asked him again if he wanted to be with us, or if it was time for me to move on. The only response I ever got to that was..."I'm formulating a response" in a reply email after I'd asked him if he'd received mine.
So I was at his parents house recently so they could watch S while I went on a work trip for a week. H called while I was there (oddly, he usually only calls there when I'm there). His mom was talking to him on the phone while I was next to her taking care of S4. I could tell they were talking about his PCS situation and his leave. She said, "so you're flying home first?"
I suprised myself by opening up my mouth and asking "Does he mean flying to [his parents airport] or to [my airport]?" So his mom asked him my question.
Obviously he answered that he was flying into my airport because his mom then proceeded to give him a hard time (jokingly) saying, "oh, I see, I rate second now do?" Then she let off and told him that where S and I are is his home now, and that's the way it should be. I know she was joking, but it trigured some resentment in me. I mean, who needs to reassure her 35 year old son of this???
So any way...I think H got the message from my email, even if he did not respond to it with words. Words don't seem to resolve any of our issues.
