I hear you. Believe me, I was not and never will advocate her wearing "sexy" clothing while working in the garden, or insist on her gussying up while just around the house after a long day chasing kids. I have put off buying her anklets for gifts because it isn't a good idea to have jewelry in reach of little hands, kwim? I don't want a Victorian-era doll, and frankly there is no way she would go for that. I VERY MUCH appreciate a woman who doesn't mind getting dirty and sweaty, and her looking that way is not a turn-off for me.
This was purely an effort on my part to try to help her feel better about herself. I was trying to be more of a "friend" in this case (although I may have not been going about it the right way, and I don't mind if people tell me my MO sucked). You know, everyone, I think, would like a friend that would honestly tell you if your new hairstyle wasn't the best. I know I appreciate my W stopping me if I'm leaving for work with pants or shirt or tie that don't match color-wise.
Let me relate an incident that perhaps clarifies. For one of our date nights, I came home from work (it was summer so I didn't have to be dressed up), played with the kids a bit, helped the baby sitter get settled, then went and changed into some nice clothes. Since we were going to a movie, timing was a factor. She saw me, and was in a t-shirt that she was wearing all day, jeans shorts, and those ugly shoes. SHE then started loudly complaining about me getting dressed up while she wasn't. And there was the occasional comment she threw out about feeling self-conscious.
My point is that if she was comfortable sexually with herself and with her "womanhood", the last thing on my mind would be her shoes. But it is clear that she has forgotten about how it used to make her feel nice to get dressed up in favor of extreme practicality. I don't mind if she spends extra money to look nice. I think she is gorgeous no matter what, be SHE doesn't. We all know a woman's sexiness has to do more with her internal feelings rather than what she wears. But for those women who have forgotten their sexiness, getting dressed up can help remind them.
I think I'm starting to talk in circles so I'll stop there. I'm sure how I went about this could have been improved. But I want to improve our M, so I figured helping her remember that she was a woman and not just a mother could only help in the long run.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
