Of course I want to save my marriage. I have been through this in the past and for some reason this is much harder. I am trying to be okay, but I'm not. I feel like why should I try if end the end it will end up in divorce. That is where I think he is at, but is scared of making that decision. I wish I had a crystal ball to let me know what is the right choice for me to make. I mas afriad that doing the DB steps will be a watse of time and nothing I do can change his mind or soften his heart.
It sounds like you are assuming you know where he's at by thinking negatively. Right now you don't know what he's thinking. But from my time here and with my own situation what I have learned is he's processing. He really doesn't know what he wants to do and is trying to figure it out. Sure divorce is the easy escape but often the regrettable one too. It doesn't solve the underlying issues and anyone that says it does is selling a line. They know less than you, specifically your coworkers. They are only saying what they think you want to hear. They know little other than what you may have told them and that's not a lot really.
So is it worth DBing? Absolutely because then you know you did everything in your power to work on and improve you and your relationship. If it ends up in divorce well you know you have improved you tremendously making you a better person and in the future a better spouse. You've seen the error of your ways not fix those errors and move forward not on, forward. You might be very surprised by the outcome if you move forward rather than "on".
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
