About to separate - Any advice

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I just went thru your other thread, she does seem to be rubbing everything in your face, you are pretty darn strong not to blow up, I think I would have by now.
You need to start taking care of yourself, do not let yourself be so available to her and stop persuing. Not sure what to say about her letting the kids being around somebody so soon. I know from my first D, when I was dating my current W, I kept them apart for almost 6 months. My S did know her and vice versa, but as far as he knew she was just someone that was around.

Good luck