He just pulled a "[insert husband's name here]". Same M.O.
If you really want a different outcome this time, you don't back him up with the therapist. Your hubby wants you to be OKAY with his unilateral decision. I suggest that you not be.
Sit back, and when you are asked what you think, you tell him the truth, and that this is hubby's standard way of dealing with things, and that YOU DON"T LIKE IT, and that it was NOT okay.
Oh, and while you have the therapist's attention, you may want to take the opportunity to ask him if he thinks that a full panel STD test is in order in light of hubby's latest adventure.
You did ask
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Oh I have absolutely NO intention of backing him up - he is in this one all on his own. There will be no bailing done on this side of the boat.
And yes, I have already mentioned the STD testing and H said he would get it done - when hell freezes over perhaps? So another thing to bring up with ST, who I am sure will insist that it be taken care of
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Maybe the doctor will decide to use a swab for the gonorrhea part of the test on hubby.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
And H knows about that one - he had it done the first time too. Not pleasant!
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I think you're doing a fine job. I'm proud of you for not pressuring your H on the homework. If you had, then he may not be as remorseful as he is right now. It's not going to be easy for him, you know that, but he'll get through it, and you'll have one heck of a prize. Your ST will know how to handle him. Leave it to the pro. You've finally got some good help in your corner and don't be afraid to call him for advice along the way.
One step at a time!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
No, I know that but I asked twice about the homework, I think that's enough. He's not two years old and is quite capable of dealing with everything else.
I will make it VERY clear to the ST tomorrow that I am very hurt that he is not making our M/SL a priority in his life
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
No, I know that but I asked twice about the homework, I think that's enough. He's not two years old and is quite capable of dealing with everything else.
I will make it VERY clear to the ST tomorrow that I am very hurt that he is not making our M/SL a priority in his life
Which is exactly what you should say. You reminded him twice, when there was still plenty of time. He could easily have done it, but chose not to. That that is his usual modus operandi, and you are NOT impressed. Stated calmly, without rancor, but firmly.
He's not two years old and is quite capable of dealing with everything else.
I will make it VERY clear to the ST tomorrow that I am very hurt that he is not making our M/SL a priority in his life
That is what I like to hear HW.
COG. I am with LFL, Chrom and NOP on the unconditional love thing. There is a place for it but this is not the place for HW, IMHO.
In fact, letting some people continue to do what they always have done is enabling them to continue to hurt you (HW in this case), hurt themselves in the long run.
I have seen people use the Bible to defend and attack exactly the same behavior. Can't have it both ways. I am not saying you presented it both ways, other people IRL have.
Just saw this and thought of the discussion about religion and science. It might be worth a trip to Kentucky, chrom, just to see this place. My favorite picture? The one of Eve, and the vegetarian velociraptor. I think I'm going to pack the minivan and go! (Note to corri: I think you're only 3.5 hours away!!!) More info here.
Hairdog, who reads from the good book, "In the beginning, God created fossils...lots and lots of fossils."
