I will try to answer some of those points i made..
My physical appearance & insurcure: I ment that it got me down alot with how i looked. I began waiting while my W had been in bed a while before i would go & join her, the light would be off by then. I no longer felt that i looked good to even have my wife see. Thats more or less where we stopped having an intimate realtionship too. she would be asleep before i got to bed. I did start using a gym to try & better this but did'nt really get there. I beleive in the gym world my physique is called Ectomorph, more like a posh word for really skinny. Hard to gain weight & keep it there, so i lost intrest after about six months....
I am almost certain that my W was thinking I would take her leaving in such a way, that I could not carry on in anyway at all, she did say that she was very scared to tell me, for how I would take it & what I would do. Actually it had the oppersite effect, it gave me the kick I needed to pick myself up & take a good long look at myself.
There is something that has been on my mind since she left & this goes back to me backing off...In my wifes job she sees cases where people just cant cope with it.. i.e when wifes/husbands leave, one instance sticks with me. She got this call because this guy was threating to kill his mother & then himself, his girl had left him & he basically lost it. He was constantly calling her & getting nowhere, his mother said that he just cant cope when she wont call back & he turns nasty. He was locked up for his own saftey in the end.....So, i did'nt want my W thinking I was going to turn into one of those cases where they just sit calling & in the end go la-la....She was always telling me of the stuff she sees like that...Sorry for kinda going off subject, but I thought you may like to hear it?
Well on to recent matters...W must have been to my/our house today while i was at work...she still has a key, she took her mail & maybe some other stuff, not really sure. I'm not sure it's a great idea her having the key anyway but I have not asked for it & she has not given it back (obviously). But she could'nt even come while I was in, she had to come while I was out, that kinda makes me feel bad, but i won't let it worry me.
Anyway..Thanks again for your replys & help..It's good to just sit here & type to anyone that wants to read.
