Those aren't all my threads.... I have a lot more...
We were in divorce proceedings for about 6 months before my husband hinted at stopping the divorce, actually admitted he wanted to stop it (I kept saying "Are you SURE you want to do this?"), and then he called his lawyer to stop it. He then moved back home when his lease ended, and put his wedding ring on first without me asking. By then the tables were sort of turned (not that I was mean or demanding divorce, but he had to pursue me a bit) and I had to be woooed back into the marriage. Not that I ever actually "left it," but I had created a fun life that I was pretty happy with and did not want to stop the divorce unless my husband was 100% certain he wanted to stay married. I just didn't want to go through the yo-yoing anymore. I didn't want the kids to have to go through it again. Been there and done that yo-yo thing for waaaaaay too many years!!! I needed him to pull his weight in the marriage. I couldn't continue to carry the whole thing on my back. ______________ Upside Down,
Start looking HOT all the time! Just make it a habit. You'll feel better about yourself and enjoy all the compliments and looks you get when you're running errands or just happen to see people you know. Others will tell your husband how they ran into you and you looked marvelous.
Unfortunately good DBing does take enormous patience. That's something you will need to focus on. And now's the time to learn it!!!
Don't worry about making your husband angry. I did that MANY times!!! But I finally learned how to let go and when I unintentionally made him angry I learned to apologize, agree with him and say, "You know, that's something I really need to work on. That's something I want to change in me...." Then change the subject to something light and humorous.
Keep in mind, before you say any words THINK... Does this bring me closer to my husband, or does this create more distance? Only use words and actions that bring cloesness. (This was one of the sayings I had on my calendar and read every day... by practicing things eventually they become natural and you'll do them automatically, but in the beginning you'll have to concentrate and work on it). Even if it's too late in the marriage, it's NEVER to late for you to work on self-improvement. Use this situation as an opportunity for self-improvement and personal growth.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
