Or at least that the DBing processes are based on some collective truths.
I hope that they work, but I find the more I post the more I think the positive outcome of these boards is the support and cheering on for my own changes. I see so many people working so hard to save their marriages, but there are a lot of people who can't avoid the divorce in the end. I'd like to think it isn't because they are failures at DBing but more that they have tried as hard as possible but finally accepted that only the WAS can change his/her direction.
I'm not giving up, but I'm coming to see that the only way H will refall in love with me, the only way we will avoid the dreaded D, is b/c I have made myself into a more independent and balanced person, and he has done the same. It's a crap shoot, and though the LRT and going dark and 180s give some alternatives to general wallowing, nothing is going to make H come home if he doesn't choose to.
Boy, this is more pessimistic than I planned it to be. Maybe that's b/c I found out today that I get to GAL and become a better "me" by getting a colonoscopy next week. OH FUN!
