Well the W tonight on the phone, and I am not even sure why, basically told me she does not see us ever getting together again. I think I did well, all I said was "ok".
What is wierd about it is last night are S8 started having a fit about going home with me. It wasn't me he didn't want to go with me, it was the fact he did not want to go back and forth and he wanted us all to live together. I gave him a big hug and told it was okay and this is just the way it is and both his mom and I love him deeply. Well he was still crying and went to W for a hug and he was basically reapeting himself again to her. She told him "today is not the day for daddy to come home yet."
Why the hell tell him something like that were he is taking every word said and probably processing it more than I am. I will admit when she said it I even had a smile in my heart.
No matter what is going on between us, I am positive she does not want to hurt him anymore than she/we have too. I know if it is done, he will be crushed. Give me hope is one thing, but to give him hope like that, and then to tell me the exact opposite 24 hours later, I have no clue on what to say to him now.
I know not to believe anything they say and only half of what they do, but it breaks my heart to see my S go up and down almost as much as I do.
Any advice on something to say to my S ? Because I am just lost about this part of it.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
I'm in the same boat as you with S4. I just tell him everything will be OK, and not to worry. Mommy and Daddy will figure things out. It's vague, it's semi-true, but it doesn't really get his hopes up.
The poor kid, when he found out I was going to be talking to my W two weeks ago, was jumping up and down cheering, I'm not even kidding. You'd think he just won the lottery. That broke my heart. So, I've been even less direct with him about things. He is only 4 after all. Any time the subject comes up, I just say everything will be OK, and we go play. It's a crude disraction, but he just can't be caught up in this mess.
It is heart breaking, just don't ever let him forget how much you love him and how important he is to you.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
