he says he doesn't want to try to work on the realtionship becuase he is still unsure if he wants to fix it. =================== that's it in a nutshell, things went sour for a reason, and he's afraid, yes, afraid that things wont work out, what w/both of you arguing he just thinks it will be heck again. Conradl, have taken a HARD look at yourself and see where you might've gone wrong? if anything I have learned so much from my S, I saw the ugly side of me and how I nagged, rejected him constanty, talked down and put my H last in my life. I thought I was being a good wife, I worked, cooked, care for the kids. But in all honesty, I was a lowsy partner.
Is there any hope left in my relationship? I ======= it feels hopeless but it isn't, you both need to work on your communication skills. You need to listen, truly listen without negating his feelings or jumping up to defend yourself, specially when you disagree. 60% of arguments are unslovable, what you need to learn is not how to solve them but how to agree to disagree, and see his side too.
emotional part of me wants to cry and find a way for him to come home ========== yes, it is normal to feel this way, but he has to come on his own, not by your hand, to make it a lasting decision, he has to decide on his very own. Don't try to get into his head or convince him of anything.
a way to remove the feeling of sickness from your stomach ============= Only time and a conscious decision on your part to decide to be happy everytime you open your eyes will help. In my case I prayed, I'd pray so hard and sometimes my prayer was composed of sobs and me just repeating "please God, help me, it hurts to bad". Eventually, I opened my eyes in the am and told my self "smile, today you have your kids w/you, you have a job, ahouse, family and friends who love you, you can do it".
About him saying ILY, it's be hard to tell you not to read into it, but I see a glimmer of hope there, my H wouldn't even look me in the eye for about the first 2mths. Take everything he says/does w a grain of salt and NO, 0, zilch expectations. Detach. Work on yourself and focus on your D, make plans to go out, work out, fill your brain w/good reads and positive books.
Hang in there, it will get better.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
