Actually the other day, my wife and I were talking, not about R or M, but somehow it came up that I was in this forum. She was actully very happy I was doing this and not talking to family and friends instead, she encouraged me to continue. I did not tell her the site name or anything just said it was marriage site.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
oh my W would flip if she thought I was airing dirty laundry. That's why I don't give names, go into specifics.
But hell...I gave her the book to read. I have nothing to hide.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
My W would flip if I was doing it with friends and family. If you read my first thread, alot more than just being seperated and possibly D are going on in my head. She is happy that I have found a place to spout off, to think and get some understanding of what she may be going thru. Millions of peeps are in the world, chances are very slim I know anyone here, and if I do, I hope they are finding the help and guidance as I am.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
I haven't looked. No offense but Sacramento isn't on my list of places to go. You'd feel the same way about coming here I'm sure.
Originally Posted By: NMHurting
oh my W would flip if she thought I was airing dirty laundry. That's why I don't give names, go into specifics.
But hell...I gave her the book to read. I have nothing to hide.
I haven't aired dirty laundry that wasn't mine, I don't believe. I accept the responsibility for what I did, I'm here mostly for support in a situation I have no control over. My W would actually he happy to hear me say that. I was apparently a huge control freak about our arguments, differing opinions, and decision-making processes. I don't need to do that anymore.
I'll bring her here when the time is right, I want her to know how hard I've been working to be the man I'm supposed to be. That's one way I think she'll see I'm not blowing smoke up her skirt because I'm codependent.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
While reading the bottom part of your post, I was thinking. The first couple of months, I did talk to family and friends, not much but I did. Think about all those poor souls that are in the same boat we are and have no one to turn and talk with, no place to spout off thier anger, ask questions, etc.. This place is awesome.
I also agree about not airing dirty laundry about our spouses, I have made reference to her meds, but in a good way. All the laundry has been mine and mine alone. If not for coming in here, I would probably already have had the D paperwork in hand and if not that, half way to the looney bin.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
In my case my family has been destructive to the process. Hell i was renting from my aunt and she just evicted me (60days notice) because I won't "let go."
It made me realize that both of us have always had big outside influences telling us not to be together. Her family, my family, friends, etc.
It's not their choice. It's mine. I'm in my mid 30's for (edit) sake.
It also made me realize I never stood up for her enough. I shall do my damn-est to never make that mistake again.
She and my kids are the most important things. period. No room for negotiation, ever.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
