GEL, you asked HW about the ST questionnaire. Here is a web address for a lengthy interview, 20 to 40 minuets if you read all the questions. Some questions are structured so you have to read them more than once to determine if an agree or disagree answer fits. http://www.christofflab.ca/sexstudy/
My situation is somewhat normal. Too much M frustration for me. BB has to have things neat, orderly, and a guarantee before she enjoys things. One try at sex last week. We got to the PBTS stage and she didn’t want to go any farther. Maybe this week?
I asked her to look at some book articles and she said books don’t contain anything we need to improve the M. She insists she can’t be any more friendly when I have my business at home. She said she doesn’t like sharing the house with my business inventory in the lower level of the house, and doesn’t like the phone calls I get (2 to 4 a day)
Her knee is bothering her and that is another reason for low functioning R. She verbalized a list of ailments and I asked if she was ready for a senior retirement apartment, where meals were served in a dining room, the staff changed the sheets and did the vacuuming weekly, and all the residents have to do is their own dusting and laundry. BB said she was only hamming it up and I over reacted to her comment. :insert foot in mouth:
On another day, I told BB how disappointed and discouraged I have become due to the lack of M harmony/co-operation. I said I was really in a low spot, so low that if I had to go to the hospital for anything (like Chrom) I wouldn’t want her to come to see me. BB frequently brings up the topic, “People die unexpectedly” on a regular basis. Scanning the obituaries is one of the first thing she does in the A.M.
I did some things alone this weekend because I was not in the mood to convince BB she would have a pleasant time if she went.
Choc, WTG. My ME book advises to limit the children's exposure to any affair. Once exposed, back off on telling the other relatives about the details.
Wedding Anniversary #39 today and almost anniversary #3 for being on the forum.
First mistake I made, according to BB's reaction was at 5:30 A.M. It is windy and BB voiced a concern we might lose the electricity, buy that we had a back-up generator and could make coffee if the electricity was off. I said we could go out for breakfast because the main street in town rarely loses power.
BB doesn’t want to eat out and wasn’t happy I was dragging my feet about setting up and using the generator for such a limited event. (then possibly not using it for 6 months to several years)
I didn’t feel like using it for such a short time and then have to drain the gas so the carburetor doesn’t gum up from just sitting around and gasoline doing it’s usual thing.
Also going out for breakfast didn’t seem to elicit any brownie points. I even may have lost a few.
The day will have some good things. BB wanted to go to the “Olive Garden” but, well there is her list that interfered with going several times in May. Today I am not listening to her “list.”
Mother’s Day, BB’s birthday, and our anniversary are all within 30 days of each other. I think of these events as something that should be pleasant. Truth is, for me it is something like a “triple witching hour.”
Someone is going to do something that the other person doesn’t like. I just try to get through May and June and think to myself, that is the way it is, has been, and is most likely going to be.
Back and foot rubs for BB, Yes; it is her anniversary. PBTS or more tonight? Who knows!
Now all I have to do is get to the "Olive Garden" before it gets crowed. When does that ever happen?
Not often. Can you call ahead and make a reservation? Some places will at least let you put your name on the list and then you just have to get there before they call.
Personally I prefer Macaroni Grill over Olive Garden. Although the best are the mom and pop places in the various Little Italy's in the big cities.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
the best are the mom and pop places.. We were in "Olive Garden" last week but BB said there were too many people for her. We went to a grandma, grandpa, mom, pop, son, daughter Mexican restaurant instead. BB and I liked the old place.
Can you call ahead and make a reservation? That would help to secure a table but BB will have doubts about going in if there are too many cars (her opinion) in the parking lot.
No Macaroni Grill in our area. We do have a Johnny Carino's Country Italian restaurant but BB doesn't like me changing plans once I say I am going to do something. She wants things based partly on who advertises the most and has the best commercials. Out-Back is one place BB wants to go to and have a blooming onion but she doesn’t like onion rings that much. One word, advertising.
In general, if a place gets some bad press/news she abandons that company.
There is a local, vertically integrated group of cattle ranchers with a feedlot and a restaurant. We rarely go there. They don't advertise, so most likely the place is not on BB's radar.
Your suggestions are well taken. Mom and Pop shops usually have some specialty that earned them a good reputation.
OTH advertising does work with some people. Did I ever tell you what BB buys because it is advertised heavily? You don't want to know.
Well, you have mentioned TV problems in the past. Dedication to advertising is a bad side-effect of too much TV.
The BEST places I have ever eaten are places someone else took me too because they loved it. There is a place called Patti's in Grand Rivers, KY that serves 2" pork chops that you can just about cut with a butter knife, strawberry butter with flower pot bread, and 8" high merangue (sp?) pies. Plus the waiting staff will sing you "Let Me Call you Sweetheart" if you go on your anniversary.
Would it be possible to just let the pissing and moaning about cars and advertisement wash over you and just take her where you want to go (and you know she will like)?
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Back from the "Olive Garden." We arrived by 3:30 and not too many people were there. BB liked the outting.
Patti's in Grand Rivers, KY sounds wonderful. :burp: That's lots of food Chrom. :buuuurp:
Plus the waiting staff will sing you "Let Me Call you Sweetheart" if you go on your anniversary. That is a sweet gesture, very romantic and personal.
I was at fort Knox for almost 2 years and went to Louisville KY often. Drove around KY on the weekends and to TN once.
Would it be possible to just let the pissing and moaning.....and take her where you want to go. You mean Costco for their $1.50 dog and soda? You think BB would like that? :razz:
The tripple witching month is over soon. I will get back to more of what I want soon. May/june is always a tough time for and to be around BB for some events.
Chrom. sounds like we have a few similarities concerning religion. I offer Choc advice based on what I see as living life according to his values. I openly challeng a few folks at church over, the latest when someone deniged the local area was covered by a see or lake. Some people won't accept layered, sedimentary rock with sea shell and marine fossils prints as evidence the world is more than 6K years old.
Oh well. It isn't my job to convince someone that the laws of physics are universal and apply to everyone. Maybe the Mid-Atlantic Ridge doesn’t exhist.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mid-Atlantic_Ridge
Dedication to advertising is a bad side-effect of too much TV. BB is a big girl and is inclined to do as she wants. I wish she would reduce her TV viewing by 50% but said I don't pay enough attention to her. Once she said it was going to be the TV or she was going to find a lover. Someone has to work, me.
I highly recommend it. The dining rooms are decorated beautifully with flowers and antique farmhouse type stuff. There are a bunch of antique shops (and even one that sells those miniature trees - can't think of the name right now). Plus it is right near a marina on Kentucky Lake, and sits on the North side of "Land Between the Lakes" national park, which has a beautiful drive, a planetarium, an Elk and Bison prairie, Nature center, etc. Extremely good service at Patti's too. Great place for a special occasion.
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Drove around KY on the weekends and to TN once.
Ever seen the castle on the west side of Lexington? Right in the middle of a bunch of horse farms ... can see it from Bluegrass Parkway. I sometimes drive that way when visiting parents in Columbus, OH.
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You mean Costco for their $1.50 dog and soda?
ROFL. That's a good deal actually
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I openly challeng a few folks at church over, the latest when someone deniged the local area was covered by a see or lake. Some people won't accept layered, sedimentary rock with sea shell and marine fossils prints as evidence the world is more than 6K years old.
DON'T GET ME STARTED. I'm actually part of a national movement among astronomy, geology, and biology profs (those disciplines that deal directly with time and evolution) to reform the teaching of evolution in secondary schools. LOTS of misconceptions in textbooks (orthogenesis, Big Bang was an explosion, etc.) that need to be excised and a new comprehensive interdisciplinary approach put together.
We had one of those fellows that does "Christian" tours at the Grand Canyon that give "evidence" that the canyon was carved out by Noah's flood. I forced myself to sit in the nursery and listen to it on the speaker so that I wouldn't audibly choke during the presentation. The best part about it, one of the church-goers, a devout YEC believer, unintentionally asked the best question of the night. He said, "you've been telling us there is no good scientific evidence that the rocks are millions of years old. Do you have any direct scientific evidence that the are only thousands of years old?" Answer from tour guide ... "No." Too bad no one there got the significance of that answer.
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Oh well. It isn't my job to convince someone that the laws of physics are universal and apply to everyone.
Well, in some sense, that is my job.
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Maybe Pangea was a myth.
No, the YEC'ers believe that Pangea was real, but that the flood reformed the continents. What they haven't been able to explain was how we got the distribution of animals post-flood from Noah's ark. Except hand-waving arguments about rapid "micro"-evolution and "Goddidit" type statements.
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Once she said it was going to be the TV or she was going to find a lover.
My God I hope that was sarcastic. Even so that is hurtful. I would have been sorely tempted to make a scathing retort. Hope you were able to take the high ground on that one.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Lou You mean Costco for their $1.50 dog and soda? Chrom ROFL. That's a good deal actually Chrom, the $1.50 dog, Kosher BTW, was just one of those “top this one if you can” statements 9 grade’ish boys make.
It is a good deal and is an OK meal taste wise. I only do it a couple times a year because dogs sometimes have high fat content.
The point I wanted to make using the $1.50 dog and drink example is, it doesn’t take a lot to satisfy some of my wants. I am just as happy with a very lean burger as a steak. I like the $2.00 a #, plain imitation crab better than the real thing drenched in butter. Salads are wonderful. I don’t order the 16 oz steak and shrimp when I go out to eat. That meal we had last week at the 4-generation Mexican restaurant, which was a sampler/combo of beans, cheese rice, enchilada, and a beef something, was an ideal meal.
YEC believer I Googled YEC and came up with Young-Earth-Creationist.
No, the YEC'ers believe that Pangea was real, but that the flood reformed the continents. So the Mid Atlantic Ridge and associated spread is bunk! Great. Sounds like one
In the Earth, Air, Fire, Water (EAFW) science class, one series of lectures was on local Geology where you could see results from past events and have the process explained.
I have been to the following town before I was in the EAFW class and went back after the EAFW class. What an awakening! I never knew of or thought about glacial dams and lakes before the EAFW class. I guess that (not knowing) is par for people that drop out of school in the 10th grade.
The impact from Glacial Lake Missoula and the Missoula floods can be seen in parts of Montana, Idaho, Washington, and Oregon. Testifying to the cataclysm are the ancient shorelines, ripple marks, scoured lakes, dry channels, falls, and flood debris that are still visible after nearly 12,000 years. Without seeing this evidence it is hard to imagine the enormity of the geologic event. http://www.glaciallakemissoula.org/virtualtour/camasprarie.html Then click on the 10 additional picture links, starting with 1. Glacial Lake Missoula and on to 10. On to the Pacific
Lou Once she said it was going to be the TV or she was going to find a lover. Chrom My God I hope that was sarcastic. Even so that is hurtful. I would have been sorely tempted to make a scathing retort. Hope you were able to take the high ground on that one. Well, people say some hurtful things at times. At other times they keep things bottled up till something like this comes out.
I mostly listened because of her un-spoken message. That message was she felt neglected and needed something from me. I was working a lot when her TV viewing time increased, so in a sense I was getting an explanation at a much, much later point in time why things got to where they are for BB.
BB developed other unhealthy habits for a R at various points in our M. I heard complaints about things she didn’t like but very few suggestions as to what she wanted and what the correlation was between her withdraw and what I was or wasn’t doing. I was in work mode to pay for everything. I found out just a couple of years ago why she lost interest in sex because of all the work I was doing and this decline for BB started before 1981. And men supposedly don’t communicate?
Did I take the high road? I did at that moment. Not so at other times.
So far I have heard;
Once she said it was going to be the TV or she was going to find a lover
BB doesn’t have to worry about me finding or having an OW, no one would want me. (LOL. oops that wasn’t nice of me to laugh like that)
I am gay???? ( I can wave
I should have ED, why don’t I have ED like the “normal men” my age.
I need to be married to two, 40yr old women because I am over sexed. (actual frequency 1X to 3X a month, more around the 1X)
Who is my latest girl friend? Why does the female dentist keep calling me? (her H calls me. He works for his W)
GWB is the only president with balls, to GWB is a ~ineffective wimp. (depends on who is winning a particular conflict)
So, sometimes I let things pass and try to determine what is behind her thoughts.
I haven’t been Mr. Nice guy, taken the high road all the time. BB made frequent comments about the house’s design and maintenance. I told her several times if the house is that bad, move out.
When she was into her TV shopping addiction and was receiving deliveries daily at one time I said I would rather live in my car than live with her.
I was ready to throw her out or I was leaving when her cats decided to use the carpets all over the house for pee pads, then the dogs followed what the cats were doing (6 cats, 4 dogs). This went on for 6 months until I watched the cats enough to determine which cat was the major problem.
I asked a no-kill animal shelter to find that cat a home and worked with the animal welfare league (AWL) folks for a month.
At the end of the month and no adoption, I gave the AWL people $100 and explained my frustrations (me, or the cat was going to move). They kept the cat and placed with other cats in a big barn like structure.
After the cat was gone, I removed the carpets and some of the sub floor. I did some other home improvements and replaced it with laminate oak finish flooring and area rugs.
I do some work for another animal welfare agency and I explained the above situation. The two ladies that run that organization have 140 cats. They said some calico cats are prone to the behaviors of the troublesome calico cat BB had.
It is common enough the cat ladies used to play video tapes to entertain the cats but quit because the cats urinated on the VCR and TVs. Now the cat ladies only have boom boxes in their cat rooms. (really smelly place in the whole house, garage, and cattery)
They are unusual people but I am glad they are doing what they do. I donate pet food and my printer services to them. I asked one of the cat ladies about men. I shouldn’t have. To her, men are pigs, selfish and abusive, about sums it up.
Some of BB’s cats dies of old age. One dog (120#) bit a man in the neighborhood, and a kid, knocking out the kids tooth along with some serious facial bite marks that required plastic surgery. When BB was looking to adopt the 120# dog, I didn’t want to bring the dog home. A woman at the rescue center told BB to ignore what H think, and told BB to do what she wanted. I almost said, “get the dog and I am gone.” If I had it to do over again I would.
Well, now I started WWIII over the benefits and risks of pet owner ship and pet behaviors, maybe I should just go to work and fix something.
