I don't post here much, but I want to say you are doing the right thing here...stand up for yourself. I made the fatal mistake with ex-bf of acting like nothing, hoping all would be OK in the end if I just acted as if, and that did not work. He walked and that was that. He for sure got the easy way out. If she is going to leave, she would have done it anyway, irregardless of how you handled it. But you are right, the "ooey" feelings in her head won't last forever...she is in la-la land right now. As we all know, those feelings are great, but once you are in relationship, if you can't count on true companionship, loyalty, and truly "like" someone, it never lasts. The financial end of it will be a *real* eye-opener. This sitch is just not even realistic...the age difference and him living at home? Personally, I wouldn't give this guy a second glance...she will come to terms with this eventually. Good luck and hang in there...
Thanks, Moretocome. I couldn't agree with you more. OM is not the issue, but he IS the immediate obstacle to her working at this, and he IS the opportunity for me to grow as a man and to stand up for my marriage and my family the way I should have all along.
I'm trying, Isiah. I'm trying. It's getting harder tho every day, as she is just BITTERLY cold, and barely speaking to me. Who is this alien, who has invaded my wife's body, and when can I get her back??
I know she's angry with me, but this is so much more than that. It's like she is an entirely different person, and it's not only making me very sad, it's scaring the bejeezus out of me.
The woman you fell in love with and still love is in there, searching for a way to come out. But it is hard, the strong feelings (no matter how contrived or rationalized), the biochemicals raging through her, the layers and layers of built up resentment and entitlement, what she sees as unfair attacks by you. Frankly, in her state of mind, going with OM is the easy way out of a difficult situation. To get back with you will require lots of hard R work. To go with OM seems easy, and has the added benefit of juicing her with lots of escape fantasy chemicals.
I think you are doing what you can to make her realize that the OM route is NOT the easy one. I hope she makes the right choice.
A physical trainer still living with his parents eh? Wow. Man, if there ever was a poster-boy for how powerful those A chemicals are, this has to be it.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"...she is just BITTERLY cold, and barely speaking to me. Who is this alien, who has invaded my wife's body, and when can I get her back??"
That's the princess. (btdt)
Princesses are used to having everything they want given to them.
So the thought of having to give something up infuriates.
They don't like deciding.
They don't like either-or.
They like both.
They want both.
There is a burning seed in her reminding her actions are wrong. And that self-directed anger needs to vent. Gets too overwhelming.
You're her most available and convenient outlet.
It ain't you.
Lash yourself to the mast. Don't listen to her shrieking.
It will fade.
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
A physical trainer still living with his parents eh? Wow. Man, if there ever was a poster-boy for how powerful those A chemicals are, this has to be it.
You should see his P.O.S. 10-year old pickup truck, replete with faded-out paint and busted-off side mirror.
You should see his P.O.S. 10-year old pickup truck, replete with faded-out paint and busted-off side mirror.
Well it was my turn to spew coke on the computer screen. I have a P.O.S 10-year old pickup truck, with faded paint and busted-off side mirror (and cracked windshield, and busted up tailgate). I use it to haul things for everyone around here who doesn't want to haul things in their nice cars LOL ... and that's what I drive to work and back.
Man, had the someone walking over my grave feeling for a moment there ... except I'm not a PT, haven't ever been in one of those membership gyms (just use the campus facilities), and don't know any guys with chocolate eyes that hate my guts. You don't hate my guts ... do you Choc ... Choc?
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
