Thanks for the kind words Upside Down. I'm not always strong... I remember, the first few months of my divorce, being in a state of complete shock. I couldn't believe that my husband would actually go so far and that there was nothing I could say or do to change his mind. It was very hard. And the first few weekends after he moved out and had the kids, and I was alone... that was super difficult. I had never actually been alone before!!! I remember driving to my mother's house and thinking if I just drove off the freeway... I could end it all and the pain would be over. Also, during those first two weekends without the kids I cried for two days. I even walked through my garage looking for something poisonous to swallow. The only thing that stopped me was thinking I didn't have a will, what if the kids found me, and they really need me. How would this affect their lives? Realizing that I was going through a very difficult time, I immediately started individual C, went back to church, sought out local single friends and others going through divorce, and eventually found this website and decided to DB, GAL and focus on healing.
Sometimes there's no alternative but to dive deep inside and find some semblence of strength and then build it up.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
