In response to your side note(i can't figure the quote thing out) computer illliterate. she is jealous of the other girl. She doesn't know what she wants but she certainly doesn't want YOU with someone else. So be patient and time will tel. Sounds hoefull though. JAK
Last edited by jak58; 06/04/0702:25 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
As for "quoting", at the bottom of the post you want to quote, simply hit the "quote" button.
Work and life in general has been very busy for me lately so I have not been able to keep my journal up to date. This means my posts around here should be much shorter because I cannot remember what happened this morning let alone yesterday
Tuesday night I got a text message from my GF. She sent it about 9:30 pm while she was at work. She wanted to know if I wanted to go out to dinner at our favorite steakhouse Thursday night, her treat! I waited a good hour and a half to respond. I figured I would keep her wondering why I didn't write back right away. I responded with, "Seriously, do you even have to ask?"
If you have been keeping up with my posts, you will know that her and I usually take a nightly walk together. That night, I decided to leave for a walk before she got home. I was out walking for a good hour. She had to have been home from work for a good 30-45 min before I got back in from my walk. I figured, that recently "I have been there for her" most of the time so it was time to detatch a bit.
We talked for a chit-chatted a bit after I got back from my walk. She said that she got a good laugh at my response to her about going out to dinner. She didn't make any comments about me not walking with her that night.
When she got home from work last night, she pulled out a movie and said, "I rented this for us to watch Thursday night after we get back from dinner." I was shocked...."for US to watch"! So tomorrow night, I have dinner and a movie.
This weekend will be interesting. We leave to go out of town for this wedding Friday morning and will be coming home Sunday.
Did you decide how you are handling your wedding trip?
You are getting so good with your DBing efforts and detaching!
I know you hit the quote button but how do you get just s certain portion of the post in there?
Remember do not expect anything more from her than she gives you. Act AS IF you are competely happy with the way things are at the moment.
Dinner and a movie! Im'e jealous my H needs to jump on the band wagon. Im'e starting to feel l;ike im'e just getting leftovers as everyone wants him for something and we have no time together.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I know you hit the quote button but how do you get just s certain portion of the post in there?
After hitting the Quote button, it should open up a window with text already in the Post form. Just remove the stuff that is between the [ quote ] and [ /quote ] tags you don't want to quote.
Her and I have very little time to spend together also due to conflicting work schedules, so I hear you there.
I need some advice. On the drive home from the wedding, I am thinking about apologizing for some things. Even though she is the one that had an EA or PH, she still felt neglected by me. There are other things that I feel bad about that I could of handled differently had I known.
I just want to apologize to her if she felt that I wasn't there for her. I wanted to let her know that the things that I was planning (buying a house, etc.) was for both of us and not just me.
Since she has a hard time opening up to me, I was hoping that by me making the first move it would make her feel comfortable in talking. Your thoughts and suggestions?
I am just afraid that me GAL, detaching, and not initiating a conversation about "us" is making her reluctant to talk about "us".
I am just afraid that me GAL, detaching, and not initiating a conversation about "us" is making her reluctant to talk about "us".
If it is a 180 for you to talk about the R then ask but please don't go to much into things unless she initiates the rest.ie: apologise and let it drop if she brings other things up validate and do not defend.
It seems they are all reluctant to talk, that means they might have to work on the R and they are not prepared right now to do that so tread lightly.
I want you two to have a wonderful time. Im'e sure what you say and when you say it is going to depend on how the weekend went also.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Sorry I have not posted lately...life has been so busy! Work is keeping my very busy. I am working on buy my first two pieces of investment property. GAL is keeping me busy!
This post is going to be a long one!
If you recall, she asked me to go to dinner the Thursday before the wedding. Dinner went fantastic. We got along great. I had her laughing with my sense of humor all night. Every time she would laugh, she would say "I love it"...referring to my sense of humor and jokes. This was something she always used to say when I made her laugh. It had been awhile since she has said that to me.
When the bill came for dinner, she grabbed it from the table. I asked her how much my meal was and she said not to worry about it. I offered to pick up the tip and she refused. When paying the bill she stated that it was the least she could do for me having to put up with her s*!t for the last three months.
I was shocked to hear her say that! I really didn't know what to say but, "Well, thank you. I appreciate the dinner." It was good to hear her actually show remorse for some of her wrong doing.
The rest of the evening went well. Went and got ice cream after dinner then went home to watch a movie. At the end of the night, I told her that I had a good time, thanked her for the evening, and went to bed.
As for the wedding....as you know, we had a 9 hour drive to the wedding and we were going to be together Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
The drive up on Friday went well. We both had a great time. I continued being myself and cracking sarcastic jokes. She laughed the entire way up there and continued with the "I love it" comments. We arrived into town on Friday around 10:30 pm and pretty much went straight to bed. I got two separate double beds in the hotel room and we slept separately.
Saturday we awoke, got ready, and went to the wedding. The wedding was very pleasant. On the way to the reception, the GF kept taking those spontaneous pictures of me and her while I was driving on the highway. I was leaning over toward the passenger seat so she could take a pictures of us together.
The reception went very well. At time we both would be up on the floor dancing and other times she didn't want to dance. Sometimes I would sit down with her; other times I would be on the dance floor with some friends and let her sit alone.
As we both drank, sexual comments were thrown out in a joking manner by both of us. We were both feeling good but not drunk when we left the reception. As we drove back to the hotel, we continued to joke and I asked her if she was serious about some of the sexual comments she had made. That night we ended up having sex and sleeping in the same bed.
The next morning little was said about what happened the night before. I kept being myself and cracking jokes. As we were checking out of the hotel room, I cracked a joke and she started laughing. As she was laughing, she said "I love you." I was looking away from her as she said this and it caught me off-guard. From the few moments of silence after she said it, I think she was also surprised that she had said it. I let it slide and made no comment about what she had said.
The 9 hour drive home on Sunday went well also. We both had a good time on the ride back. However, nothing was said about us sleeping together the previous night.
As for recent events since the wedding which was on June 9th.
- She told me she is putting herself under "house arrest". She is no longer going out and getting drunk and doing "stupid things."
- She has admitted to me about being depressed. She says that she has been depressed for a while now. However, when I suggest that she go talk to someone about it, she says that she doesn't have the time. When the times do come up, I continue to suggest she go and talk to someone.
- She has to get a physical to go to school for nursing. Since she doesn't have a family doctor here in town, she is starting as a new patient with a local doctor. The doctor sent her some forms to fill out prior to her coming in. One of these forms asked questions like, "Have you been depressed recently?", "Are you eating too little or too much?", "Trouble sleeping at night?", "Suicidal thoughts?", etc. I asked her to please fill out the form truthfully and she said she would. I am hoping this doctor sees these signs and suggests her to get further help.
- She makes comments about being depressed on a regular basis.
- She told me that months ago when she was going out to the bars a few times a week with co-workers that she wasn't having any fun. She said it was more of an act.
- There has been no mention of us having sex the night of the wedding. About a week after the wedding, I came home late and she was awake. We were on the couch and she playfully punched me. We started to wrestle a bit and I tried to kiss her and she turned away. I didn't pursue it any further.
- She was talking to me about how she is so overwhelmed with things going on in her life right now. I told her that she needs to slow things down and only she can do it. I told her that a few months ago I was very overwhelmed too with work and everything else. I told her that I realized that only I could slow my life down and I did. I told her how much more I am enjoying life again. Her response was, "Yeah, I have noticed how much more fun you are having now." THE 180s and GAL WORK!!!
- This past Monday, we had a company function at the ballpark. I went to the game and went out with friends after the game finished. I got home about 2:30 am and the GF was awake. I walked in the door and she immediately asked "And where have you been?" I responded with, "Does it really matter?" (Probably not the best response but I was feeling good from drinking.) She replied, "I was just joking."
She loves cotton candy, so I bought her some while at the game and gave it to her. She asked where I had gotten it from. I said, "Don't worry about it. I know you love cotton candy so I brought some home for you." She curiously replied back, "Did you go to a fair? Where did you get it from?" I just walked out of the room ignoring her and leaving her wondering.
- This past Thursday, I got home from work and she was home. We talked about our days for a bit. She wanted me to help her with something later that evening. I told her I couldn't because I had to be somewhere at 7:30. She kiddingly responded, "Oh, do you have a date?" I put a grin on and said, "I didn't say that, I just said I have to be somewhere at 7:30."
Shortly after that, her entire attitude changed. She got a lot more quite and seemed a bit down. While I was getting ready to go out, she quietly asked me what time I would be home. I told her I wasn't sure and asked why. She said that she was just wondering.
Right before I left, she told me that she might buy a bottle of wine and invite a girlfriend of hers over. She said that she might want someone to talk and cry to or if I wasn't going to be out late she would just wait for me to come home and talk to me.
I responded with, "I am sorry. I didn't know you wanted to talk." She told me that she didn't really have anything to talk about now but just might want to talk later. I told her that I would probably be home by 11 if she wanted to talk then. I did get home around 11 and no talking took place.
