It's the standard visitation for a 4-year old in our state. One day a week and every other weekend. So Wednesdays are our day and I don't have him this weekend. I've had him the last 3 weekends because memorial day is one of "my" holidays.
We still have 54 days til we go back to revisit the legal stuff. And it doesn't look like she's going to do anything in the meantime. I feel kind of stuck, like I don't want to rock the boat but I still want to be with S4 more.
I'll see what happens between now and next Wed. If nothing, I'll have a nice little chat with her parents on the 13th...
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
What kind of fricken crap is that. Sounds a little outdated in todays world. Even if that is standard, would she allow you more time? Have you brought it up the IL's or anything?
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
I agree. Sounds like I'm watching "terms of endearment" or something. I would bring it up to somebody.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I did bring it up, last Friday but I haven't heard anything yet. I've been tentative in standing up for myself because I'm 100% certain my W can't differentiate between the legal and the emotional. I've been doing what's right, I'm still waiting on her. I believe it's all a big test, but at some point I have to stand up to her.
Again, I'm only 2+ months in and I don't want to scare her off, but at some point we have to start doing what's right, or we won't get anywhere, I think...
It does suck, but I'd rather it suck a little now and we work to get back together than it not suck so much and we D right away - quite the Catch-22 eh?
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Actually no, I do not think it is a catch-22. You are only talking about your child, not the R or M. This has to do with your bonding as a dad with your son. Your W and you are a whole different issue. I can live without my W, I don't believe I could say the same thing about my S.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
You're 100% right, I just think my W will see it as an attack on her if I PUSH for more parenting time. I talked to her mom about it, we'll see what happens.
You know I don't want to get the lawyers involved.
And it's not even about MY time with my S, but HIS time with his DAD! A boy needs to be with his dad more than he needs to be with his mom, that's for sure. I blew it not being a better dad when I was with him all the time, we take so much for granted, but part of my awakening is that I'm a better dad now too! We love being together, but we always say we wish Mommy was there too.
We'll see what happens by next Wednesday. I can't imagine she'll go ANOTHER week with zero contact...
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Hey, I am 100% right?? That's a first, lol. Hopefully lawyers do not have to get involved. Did your MIL have anything to say or just shrug the shoulders?
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
She just got a deer in the headlights look and said OK...
I know she told my W though. I guess S4 went home Sunday and told his mom he wanted to spend more time with me and she said she already knew. At least that's the story I'm getting from a 4-year old.
He's such a good kid, he really deserves his family together.
I keep running into scripturese like this:
Quote:
And as ye have desired of my beloved brother that he should make known unto you what ye should do, because of your afflictions; and he hath spoken somewhat unto you to prepare your minds; yea, and he hath exhorted you unto faith and to patience—
So that's where I'm at - faith and patience - just like the thread title says.
I do believe I need to push the envelope a little to get her out of her shell, but that'll come in time...
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
"I do believe I need to push the envelope a little to get her out of her shell, but that'll come in time..."
Not sure about that one, I think the same thing alot. But hear/read to much about not doing that yet, at least not as short of time as it has been.
I'm not saying get aggressive or anything, but I have to stand up for what's right and NO communication is just not right, right? Anyway, patience is the key right now, I'm on it.
Quote:
Oh by the way, I looked in your mailbox, nothing showed up
None today either? Here's the million $$$ question. WHY file for D if you're not going to go through with it? She doesn't have to wait in our state, we could be done already. I've just put this all in God's hands, and I'm confident He's guiding her to do what's right and not end her family.
Now, I just have to figure out what He wants ME to do.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
