I got sent a separation agreement in my email today. It just infuriated me more then anything. I am sick of trying to be nice to him. I have no desire to be nice to him. The agreement says no spousal support will be paid but I am seriously reconsidering this as I have had to take another job in order to make ends meet while he goes off scott free. I have also told him that I will be taking the kids to him from now on in the morning as he has made it apparent to me that he has no respect for me or my belongings as he left the front door open and he left a pile of garbage on the table for me to clean up. I was hoping that he woudl come to his senses soon but it aint happening. I didnt want this to get nasty but now I do. Just to spite him. I know that isnt a good thing, but he has put me through so much pain that I want him to have a taste of it. I feel alot of hatred for him, even before he sent this agreement. He is not soomeone, at this point in time, that I want to pursue anything with, the farther I can get away from him the better. Heather
So I sent H an email that went something like this
i would like to be able to do things with the children together this summer, i would like it if we could live seperately, you in your house and me in mine, and we could do things as a family and do things together with no expectations and no commitments, to just have fun together and see where it leads us, you coudl still have your life and do what you want and i mine, i would just maybe like the chance to get to know each other again and what ever happens happens, is that something you would consider? remember no expectations and no commitment
His response was I dont see a problem with that. Then I asked him if he read the whole thing. He asked what I meant. I said
I mean the part where i said to do things together, i kinda meant without the kids and the get to know each other again part
He said
i dont want to start making any plans in that regard, we'll see what happens as time goes on, i just meant i wasnt ruling anything out,
I was very surprised by this, he isnt ruling anything out which means that there is a possible chance for us to have a future. Im not getting my hopes up but at least I know where he is coming from. I feel like we have made a great breakthrough
Well done. I'm happy for you. It may be hard to keep the expectations turned off though.
Being nice doesn't mean being a doormat or not getting what you need, as in spousal support. I would really think about that one. After all it impacts your ability to care for the kids and they deserve to have the sane parent there with them. Just a thought.
Just wanted to say that I think my xw is in MLC also,and although we are divorced I have a s4 involved, and it DOES affect them believe me I know. I didn't think someone so young could ask questions like they do. You have to be strong for them. Rollarcoasterider's advice is awesome
Hello everyone This is the convo that went down today, I asked if he still had feelings for me, he said not romantic ones, I said i just wanted to know so I could feel better about moving on with my life, i would like to think that we could have fallen in love again in time. I said but if you dont feel that way thats fine i just dont want to be alone anymore, anyway the long and short of it is that he needs time to do things by himself for himself and that with the way he feels right now he cant be with me, but he wants to remain friends, we had discussed doing things together with the kids over the summer and i asked him if he knew how hard that would be for me to do that knowing that he is not keeping an open mind about what might happen with us,he said that he is keeping an open mind he just doesnt know what the future holds. i dont understand what it means to have feelings for someone but not romantic ones. this really sounds like MLC to me, what do you think is that what this is?
