Not that I am an expert here by any means, but even though the physical aspect for most guys is very important, I think your issue lies elsewhere. And that is the "emotionally distant" portion. The physical stuff will get going once the emotional stuff is moving, so you do need to be ready for that (I would definitely buy the sexy underwear, dress sexy (you might even go a bit slutty if you never leaned this way before - that will get his attention - after re-reading your comment "nothing too sexy" I'd say it's required), and really work on the flirting (there are some books called "Supersex" that are really good around this)).
But I think you need to work on the emotional connection. I can hardly believe I'm saying this because I am so bad at it. But I think you need to find ways to get closer to him this way. I'd try to do more fun stuff together. Ride horses, go exploring, get lost, go crazy, wine tasting, hot air ballooning, crash a wedding, do fun things out of character. Each of you put 5 things in a hat and pick one out to do each weekend (later when you are ML you can do this for some really interesting fun!). Do some 180s and include him in the adventure. Make life with you so fun he wouldn't consider leaving.
But remember, you need to do it without expectations. Basically your mindset needs to be: "I'm planning to do <fun thing> this weekend and I'd love for you to join me." If he does, great, if not go have fun yourself. And you didn't mention what his new first LL is. Hopefully it's quality time. If it's gifts, buy him a fun thing that he can do with you.
One other thing: the hug thing seems like pursuing to me. You want him to want to hug you. If there is no scarcity, he won't seek it. Skip the hugs for a while and see what he does. I'll bet after a few days he comes to you. What's the down side?
On your "real" success, he thought you were gone. You can slightly recreate that feeling in him by GALing and not waiting around for him so much. Get on with your life and see if he wants to join you in it.
On the physical stuff, I think you are pursuing too much. He knows he can stay over, he sees you hugging him and rubbing him, and knows you would ML at the drop of a hat. I'd create some mystery: back off a bit, but be ready if he initiates. Just let him chase you more.
Lastly, on the needing him thing. I'd just take care of what you need to, let him know you will be doing it, and let him ask to help. Say "I'll be calling the plumber to do some work this weekend" and do it if he doesn't volunteer. But if he does, really let him know how much it means to you that he is there to help, and how much he means to you. I'm sure others will have more (probably better) comments in this area.
In short, I think you'll get to your goal by working on things other than actually kissing, i.e. emotional connection and having fun, doing things out of character, dressing way more sexy and stopping waiting around for him. Sounds like what they call DBing!
Good luck!
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
