welcome to my nightmare

[runningoutoftime]

Husband,
Good for you. He's sooooo faraway. You definitely have a HUGE advantage that he lives out of state ..... and man you are doing some GREAT wooing stuff!!! Little gifts around the house. WOW!!!!! That's another heart melter!!!

Do not allow anything to knock you off the feel good wagon. You are being a great dad and a great husband and whatever else happens (because negative bad things ALWAYS happen. That's life!!!), you're just going to relax, look for the humor or silver lining and be thankful for what you do have.

By the way, regarding a second affair... I don't think that's going to happen with your wife. I don't think this was a serial thing (I.e. seeking a realtionship out of depression, unhappiness in the marriage, or to get the affair "high" like someone turning to alcohol). I think she was "broadsided" by an old flame. From what I've read the feelings in an old flame can be extremely strong. There's past chemistry, memories, a previous connection, and it brings one back into the past. I wouldn't be surprised if what drew her to him was not "him," but to a younger version of herself. He would represent that and often women have a hard time with aging. Does that make any sense?
_________________
Andy,
I'm so sorry to hear about your late night. It's hard when they are in the midst of the affair. I remember when my husband would be hanging out with OW and I knew what was happening and it was such a bummer. Hang in there buddy. Yes, your wife is being selfish right now. Hopefully she can eventually mature and evolve out of that self-centered stage.

[Dr LOve]

Root


“I think she was "broadsided" by an old flame. From what I've read the feelings in an old flame can be extremely strong. There's past chemistry, memories, a previous connection, and it brings one back into the past. I wouldn't be surprised if what drew her to him was not "him," but to a younger version of herself. He would represent that and often women have a hard time with aging.”
I think this also that is one thing that pisses me off about the OM taking advantage. He’s married for Christ sake. I think my W was an opportunity for him to go out of state and sleep with My W and I paid for his room. Being a husband I want to kick his A@@ for hurting her not sleeping with her.

Anyway The OM is not the issue. The issue is my W is not happy. Is it because she is feeling Old? Is it MLC?
That is also an issue I have with her C. they know more than I but they are looking into when she became unhappy and what made her that way. I say that’s history. Let’s talk about what makes you happy now and pursue it. (Aside from having an OM)

Husband

[andyv]

Hi Husband,

I managed to get a few hours sleep last night.

You are right about the OM not being the issue. I hope her C can find out exactly why she is so unhappy. It is such a positive that she is going to C. My W just gave up on our M and is not interested in trying, and will never see a C (eventhough she is text book MLC and needs it for herself if not the M).

[Dr LOve]

W came home in a good mood. Surprising because she went to see her C today. She even complemented me on the chicken I made for dinner. I know there have been others but I was thinking about writing a book about this. Title: what happened to my marriage while I was sleeping?

Husband

[andyv]

Goodnight buddy, I hope each day gets better and better for you. It sure looks positive, well done.

[runningoutoftime]

Ooooh complementing you on the chicken and being in a good mood!!!! I think your wife is really trying to work through her personal depression. It's not an easy thing to do. I have relatives who suffer with mild depression and it's a challenge. And it does make a person much more vulnerable. I could be wrong, but I still think she probably has some hormonal issues. Please try not to take her bad moods personally, from what you've described, I think she's trying very hard.