Whatisis, Thanks for noticing it means a lot knowing that I have been open and honest on this board and that others recognize that I am taking the high road. Although my W doesn't see it that way rightnow. I know that I have screwed up during this time, though I know that I have tried and am doing my best. In the end I can hold my head high and know that my integrity is still intact and that I did everything that I could to save my M.
I will not bad mouth the mother of my children, that does them no good.
Going through this and thinking back(hindsight is 20/20) I can see my W starting to checkout. Although this is not the message that she conveyed to me, you can see that she started checkingout of the M in the fall(she will state years ago). I believe this is why it is so easy for her to trash our M and history. She has been dwelling on it a lot longer then I have and during the time she was checkingout I was kind of on trial. Every little mistake I made was magnifyed. I became an annoyance to her instead of being her friend/confidant/lover/team mate. She decided not to let me in anymore. Even to this day I have always been dedicated to her, our family, our future. I do know now that I have to live life without her being apart of it. I will always leave the door open for her until she closes it completely by remarrying.
Again I am going to get served most likely this week and am ok with it. My old M is truely dead and like ROOT stated earlier this is just a formal way of showing that.
