Sometimes (and quite often these days), it feels like I need to start getting myself emotionally ready for when that day comes. But that means pulling away - to protect myself - and that seems like the wrong thing to do under the circumstances.
It is the wrong thing to do. The difference between "pulling away" and "loving detachment" is a tricky one, but you need loving detachment to have the best shot at straightening things out.
In one case, you build up "walls" and push her away because you can't bear to hear that she hates you. In the other, you connect with her, open up to her, and listen to her, knowing and accepting that she'll express anger, hurt, disappointment, or disapproval, and still be okay when she does it. You love her, but you don't need her... you want her to stay and be happy and you'll go out of your way to work with her if she's open to that, but you'll be okay and you'll find happiness if she doesn't want to stay.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
