My wife left and never talked of coming back. I know there is another person involved. Also involved in my case was a recently divorced best friend of hers, and a comment her mother made to me less than 24 hours after she left. I called her parents, and thanked them for their support in the past, and asked for the support as we go to through this seperation. I told her parents that I believed (and still do) that this time could make us stronger. She said they would support us and that marriages take work, but if it can't be worked out, she hoped we could disolve the marriage peacefully. Ouch...less than 24 hours and I had a great relationship with her parents. I was even thinking that was than, but her support system was. It is my belief that when she figures out that she is responsible for a lot of her own issues, she will look back at this time, and regret that she didn't take the time to work our marriage. But I also believe that time likely won't come for some time. Probably after her next marriage disolves. As for my thoughts for you?...You have no children, and he seems to be on the fence. I would take that as a positive sign. I would also use the GAL strategy. Make yourself unavailable. ALways be pleasent, but not a doormat. Homer McDonald would tell you to get out and date if possible, and to do it publicly. And only you will know when you have given enought to making it work.
I think part of my peace right now comes from knowing that I did all I could do. 6 sessions here with telephone counselors, 3 with Homer McDonald, countless books I have read. I followed the advice b/c I believed in it. Therefore I truly believe I have done all I can do. I feel confident again. For the last 11 months, every breath I take I feel the weight of my sepration. The frustration with knowing that there are ways to save the marriage.As for my wife, I feel she should be embarrassed with how she handled this. Refusing to answer phone calls, lying about affair, filing for D 2 months too early, and than being upset at me for having an attorney review the papers. Please keeop me up date with your sit. I will check back often and hope to hear from you. Good luck, and I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.
