When's it my turn?

[cat03]

I've pretty much gone the same way w/my H, his new job is very demanding and he's still in a "trial" position. I also felt most of his time went to the job and not to me. Problem is, a job defines a man, and if he doesn't pay enough attention to the details about his job he might loose it. It was hard for me to understand that, I felt last on his list always and would brought it up during C.

We agreed on waiting out the storm of the trial period, I've asked him also for the same physical/verbal affirmations you are. THe trouble is, when were are pouting and crying and telling them "you dont' say you love me!" , the *last* thing they feel like at that time is loving.

So, having been in your shoes the best I can say to you is RELAX. Withdrawing sex will *not* get you anything. For a woman to be in the mood for sex she has to feel a connection first, for a man, he has to have sex first and then the feelings of bonding come. If you didn't want to ML the other night you should've speak up instead of letting it happen and then give him a hard time afterwards. You can't expect him to guess you didnt' want to.
If there is one things thing I've learn through my ordeal is that you can't make the other spouse guess what's wrong w/you, to speak up and tell your S lovingly what is bothing you (same goes w/my H)

How do you want him to choose the M over his job? you need to be more specific than just say "it;'s me or your job" Does he bring work home? does he stay way late when he really doesnt' have to? make a reasonable list.

I dont' feel threaten by his job anymore, reading your post reminded me how alone I felt when he was away for months while training for it and his long hrs of school. It has gotten much better, and me giving him encouragment has ment a lot to him.

My H also vowed to say more ILY, (I asked him to) He still doesnt' do it often, but over all, every day he is a sweet person and wants to spend time w/me.

Be patient hon, take charge of your own happiness.