I am sorry to hear about your problem. I sympathize fully with you and can feel your hurt. I have a similar experience.
What I can tell you is please read the DR on the chapter of Infidelity. In my case, when I found out that My W has an EA with her co-worker, I confronted her. She initially refused to end the relationship. After few days of thinking, I have decided to use the LRT, ask her to choose between the OM and the family. It is unfair to us (me and two children). She finally agreed to end the EA.
It has been 1 month now. However, I am not sure whether she really keeps her word. After 12 months of being lied to, I have difficulty to trust my W. As they conversed mainly through emails, I have no way to know what happen at her work. She refused to quit her work or even take a long service leave.
What I can do is try to find out what were the problems that made her strayed, and try to correct them. It hurts when the person you love the most in the world betrayed you. However, you need to work on yourself and develop your PMA. Think carefully before you take an action. Does the action will bring you closer to your H or not. If not, do not do it. Affair is like addiction to drug, it is not easy to free up from that addiction. Without strong will, incentive and remedy, it could take a long long time.
I hope I don't confuse you more. However, I encourage you to keep posting. There are many good people in this BB who can give you advice from their own experience.
