Well here is the bomb shell H decided to let go of today during an R talk:
D: Did you love OW? H: Don't know!
Don't know! Don't know. Was certain enough that he didn't love me and still doesn't, although 'feelings' are coming back. Considering 'nothing' happened and he had only been in contact with her for a couple of weeks, the 'feelings' he had for her must have been extremely strong for him to not know if he loved her. He did want something to happen between them if he weren't with me. Doh! He wasn't with me. He left me in September, with a young son and pregnant with another baby.
As I type the words down, I am furious. More and more simply doesn't add up. How can you not know if you are love someone if you have only been in contact with them again for a couple of weeks. Surely you can't love someone within a couple of weeks.
The to top it off, unsolicited, he comments that in time, he thinks he would have loved her.
Well the answer to my question, negated the need for my next question which would have been do you think you would be able to love me again. And I told him this. His response to that was that I would be surprised. So I said, 'surprise me'. He said that he could definitely fall in love with me again.
I did keep calm during the whole convesation, although I did have a few tears falling from my eyes.
It feels like I am second best and he is only here for the children. It feels like he wants to be with her. So I offered him her number, as I still have it and he doesn't, so that he could call her and see where they stood - if there was any chance for them. He didn't take the number, however, taking it would have meant that he was ending this relationship before he could test the waters with OW.
I need to know how in a couple of weeks he is unsure as to whether he loved her. I though the answer to that would have been that he didn't love her - either that or it was more than a couple of weeks.
This is some serious venting and I'm not even sure if it is making any sense.
I don't want to throw our relationship away, however, I am standing still at the crossroads right now.
