See, this is where I agree with whatisis, Sol. In a lot of ways, it seems to me that you are reacting, and basing too many of your decisions, thoughts, etc, out of anger towards your W. Sure, you have a RIGHT to be angry, no doubt about it, but DO not attempt to make rational decisions based upon that one emotion. By quelling that anger, you gain control of you and provide a whole different perspective on your sitch.

I think you're on the right track man, but there are some subtleties here that I really think you need to examine further.

"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu