So, what was the timeline on her Dad's death, the financial failure, and the EA/PA?
Also, does your wife work full time?
How many kids?
Where did they stay during the separation?
Quote: "But, like I said, it didn't last long, she was super embarrassed about it (friends and family noticed this immediately), and she's genuinely apologised for what happened. Not that I'm condoning it, but I can forgive."
Forgiveness, when it is time, is appropriate, but you don't just walk past an affair with some embarrassment, and a claim of no solid reason for the action. That would be like driving your car over a cliff, "just because".
The embarrassment makes sense, as people do goofy things because of affairs, such as wearing diapers while traveling cross-country to kidnap your ex's girlfriend. Obviously your wife came to her senses at some point. That is good.
Not talking about it, and understanding WHY she did it, is a recipe for a repeat performance.
I urge you not to take this matter lightly, and get some marriage centric counseling, or if you can't afford it, let me recommend a couple of books for both of you to read.
If your wife won't participate, then I would insist that she do. If she still won't, then I recommend you get some individual counseling and make sure that you set yourself up to be financially independent.
I am glad that you have read SSM, and I hope that your wife will as well. SSM was the catalyst that started the recovery in my marriage.
Having said that, I think that your marriage has issues that SSM doesn't address, and that need to be explored before you and your wife are going to find emotional intimacy. Still too many elephants about...
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
