Upto now i have been doing alot of backing off & want to continue to do so. I made some mistakes in the first day of my W leaving, telling her i loved her & asking her to consider staying in the house with me until she found a place. Her decision was to leave our house behind & rent somewhere as soon as she got herself sorted out, I thought it would be better to have her stay here...So i quess those are my mistakes in the early days & I have backed off from her ever since. I have not sent e-mails, cards, flowers or anyother things expressing my undying love to her. I have simply let her be & have what ever time she wants. Has this helped? I do know that it has maybe kept us on friendly terms when it has come to the contact we have had.
As i have already said our contact has been limited, & consists of phone calls to disscuss financial matters etc, which are now all sorted out. So at the moment i am trying hard to not call her & i am having success in doing so. I dont have a feeling of need to call her for no reason as i did in the early days. Of course there may be a down side to that, she does not call me, so our contact is, at this moment zero.
I do get conserned about the lack of contact, but i know I can't change that, it has to be something that comes from my W. With that said, does anyone have any thoughts about this? Am I doing the right thing with the amout of backing off i am doing? & is it wrong to hope that in doing so, it may motivate her to contact me ?
Apart from my personal goals that i am doing good with, I do have a goal to improve the quality of contact with my W & to try & monitor if there is just a tiny bit of progress. I will say that the last time we spoke I did notice a very small change in her, normally we would talk about the matter at hand & say goodbye (Happily) This time she asked me about how my weekend had gone as she knew i had spent time away. I told her the details & i think she was pleasantly suprised that i had actually done what i said i was going to do, & that I had a great time also. I won't say it's progress but it was a nice, but little change in her.
