She made a comment about baby steps. She did admit that we will need to start doing things with D3 eventually. I still can't believe that she needed to file
Is it a test maybe? I think it is for my W to some extent. She was hoping I'd flip out and just give up, say screw it and do everything for her. She's been thrown off to some extent by my not acting like an A$$, but actually making changes to myself that she likes!
Don't sweat it, you'll get used to that sword hanging over your head after a little while. Just don't push her to use the sword
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Is it a test maybe? She was hoping I'd flip out and just give up, say screw it and do everything for her. She's been thrown off to some extent by my not acting like an A$$, but actually making changes to myself that she likes!
I am going to approach this as a test. She is probably going to see how I react to this. I am not even sure if she filed or not. She said she did. Maybe she wanted to see how I reacted. I don't know. I am going to keep doing what I am doing. I have read in Homer's book that a woman never leaves a happy man. I have so many great qualities, she would be a fool to leave me. I am not perfect, but she is OUT of her mind. I am not going to obsess and beat myself up any more. One day was enough. I am just going to keep doing what I was doing, be friendly, nice, and keep GAL. We've been down this road before and she ended up backing out. She was very emotional and started to realize what a big mistake she was making. Not to mention, we have had a history of separating briefly and then getting back together. In the past, it was a few days and then we were back together. Now she has brought a new element into the picture to attempt to seize control by threatening our marriage. I am not going to let it bother me. She knows that D3 wants us together. I don't believe that she'll break up our family knowing that D3 loves us both so dearly. Our marriage isn't bad. It does need some work. Last time all it took was for someone to challenger her thoughts and to look at our marriage from an outside perspective. She knows that she is wrong, I am not going to tell her. Time to detach and be the happiest guy when I see her. I'll start 'acting as if' things will work out in the near future.
Earlier, my W said that she is stubborn. I view this as a nugget to understanding her more. She is not going to try working on our marriage UNTIL she is ready. For her to say that she is stubborn, it may be that her family members have tried to ask her to reconsider her decision and she doesn't have any substance to justify her reasoning. This may be by she wants me to be brief with her. For someone to looking out the window and see me being brief, it would appear like I don't care. Like I am 'abandoning' W and D3 as she keeps saying. I don't call her family. I do say hello when I see them. I am just speculating, what do you think. Just trying to be rational.
One more thing....
My W and I spoke briefly about the comments that D3 makes about wanting us together and when they pray at night asking "Jesus to bring my daddy back home". I told my W that this concerns me and that we need to go to counseling to learn how to address this with D3. W said that she talks to her about how mommy and daddy are friends, blah, blah, etc. She is not addressing what D3 is saying. D3 will be 4 in August and she understands what a family is. To me, this has to be stressful for my W because it is like she is trying to tell D3 what she is doing is okay. To me it seems that every time she has the conversation with D3 in the back of her mind she has got to be thinking, 'Am I doing the right thing'? Right now she is worrying only about her feelings and nobody elses. She does appear to be taking a selfish and stubborn stance.
I think the best remedy will be to keep being friendly, confident, GAL, and give her space. I think over time she will start to see that I am okay and enjoying life with or without her. She'll start to miss me soon.
