Questions for all the "Cheated"

[RedHeadWife]

You do sound a lot like me. I agree that, no we didn't cheat, but I have faced up to my transgressions in our M and, in making sure those things are no longer happening, I have made our M better and I am truly more happy for it too. I didn't realize how much I was losing out on by being pretty much emotionally "not there" for him for a LONG time.

I have chosen to forgive, or he would have been out the door a long time ago. However, it is the trust that I went to IC to try to figure out how to deal w/ getting back. I don't really think "angrily" about the A's anymore, however, I do have my days. Mostly, it's more sadness and hurt, disbelief, and unable to really understand how he could do that to me and our M when it does come on.

I have chosen to forgive and I have also chosen to trust which I have to do in order to get through this next year because he is SO very much in a place (physically) where he could do it again, but I have decided to trust that he will not choose to do that again.

I guess I'm not too fearful anymore either as I know I have done everything I could to put our M in a much better place. Even if we only had about a month of "really good" before he left, I know that he knows it too.

I understand I have forgiven him and he doesn't need to earn that, but a little reassurance from H would be nice. However, he is a man and everything is "A-okay" as far as he is concerned. I have decided not to try to discuss any of this w/ him long distance and hopefully by the time he gets back, it will all be moot anyway. I pray that by the time he gets back, I will be in a much better place and we can just begin again together working on having a happy and fulfilling M together.

Thanks for checking in w/ me. Your thoughts & comments are so very helpful!!