Questions for all the "Cheated"

[RedHeadWife]

I went to my 1st IC appt in awhile. Actually the first since H and I have been "ok" again and since H left for deployment. Needing to figure out how to get ME better.

Unfortunately or fortunately, I am trying to look at things positively, so FORTUNATELY, he really wasn't able to give me much that I didn't already KNOW for myself. I guess the only thing I did get from it was I hadn't really looked at "getting over" the A's as going through a grief process. But I guess it makes sense as we are grieving the loss of intimacy, trust, etc., etc.

I also picked up the book "After the Affair" which I have started and am hoping will help me a lot.

I know that I will be ok. I just need to allow myself to heal and not expect myself to be ok immediately with all that has happened. That's a personality trait of mine -- I expect myself to just "get on w/ it" and I need to actually deal with all of this or my M is NOT going to be ok in the long run.

H is truly missing me and the boys a lot. I trust that we will be ok. Even if all of the A stuff and the D bomb stuff hadn't happened, we would still be dealing with other "stuff" once he comes home from being gone for a year. I just hope he appreciates how strong I am in taking care of our home and boys, etc. while he is gone and that I will be able to deal with all the crap and move on and hopefully he will see how good he has it. I'm not necessarily patting myself on the back, but through all of this, I have been strong and stuck by his side even though he has acted like a complete dumba$$. I said "for better or worse" and that's what I'm doing. Hopefully he appreciates this and actually acknowledges it one of these days

If not, and I'm not going to think negatively, but IF NOT, I truly will be a stronger person once "through" all of this. Of that, I am sure.