"No,no. My only mistake was devolving into a placating nice guy... who wanted to make her happy..." Thanks, blackfoot. Couldn't have said it better.
I know what you are saying. The thing is there actually are some happy couples out there who like to make each other happy. How does that happen? Are they just naturally happy together? If that is the case then I guess I should just focus on compatability with any future partner rather than working on how I might function in a relationship.
I know that I couldn't "make" my 2bx happy but I tried and he is miserable now that I'm gone. He really didn't try very hard to make me happy, quite the opposite, and I am happier now that he is gone (except to the extent that he continues to make me unhappy by abandoning all financial responsibilities.) Maybe if you are a happy person and you ask somebody to make you even happier it works out okay. Of course, I'm a bit of a romantic. I picture me happily knitting in front of a fire sipping tea wearing my Beyonce t-shirt with a pencil in my hair and ugly old slippers and saying to Hank Stuart with a smile "It would make me very happy if you f*cked my brains out later this evening." Would it be placating if he agreed? (Would the fact that I am wearing ugly old slippers be the deciding factor? (sigh))
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver