Agreed with all of the above statements from others -- he does need you to invest in the happiness that your R has and not dwell (even if it is justified concern). The less you focus on the OW communication and the more time he has to reflect on it in his own mind without outside influence, the more he will come to realize that doing this is wrong, whether she is "just a friend" or not. He really needs to empathize by putting himself in your shoes and seeing things through your eyes and heart. Until he can do this and appreciate the sincere feelings you have about this matter, he will not fully understand the strain he is putting on the piecing of your R. However, he will have to make the leap to step into your own shoes on his own -- this is where his true growth will take form. And I totally agree with needing to come up with a response to "but she's just a friend." I would be beating my head against the wall over this redundancy too!
Enjoy your "snazzy" room and having quality time with yourself!
