My old thread in "PIECING" got locked. Maybe someone is trying to tell me it's time to move out of there. It's official anyway. W's been moving out all last week and this w/e. Not sure why she's dragging it out unless just to be more dramitical. It's not like she's got alot of stuff. I'm keeping the house and all the furniture. W is moving into APT about a mile away from the house and a block away from S8 school. She's had possession of the APT since beginning of last month, but is just now moving in.
She's really starting to play the head games w/ Ss. W's always accused me of planning on making this ugly, but she's the one being cruel(emotionally/mentally) to Ss. Lying to them, making unreasonable demands to me (offering 1 day/wk in parenting plan, wanting me pay her L fees) She just wants to keep blaming me. She told Ss last week I was going to keep them from her. This upset them very much. This am, S8 supposed to play golf w/ GP. W calls GP @ last minute and tells him she's changed plans & is going to keep w/ her. S8 mad and disappointed b/c he really likes to play golf and L playing w/ GP. Instead W takes Ss to run errands to p/u things for her APT & take them to APT w/ her. When I found out I lost my temper w/ her. Then W asks me if I've been able to schedule any C appts. for S8, "b/c he's going to need them since we're both screwing him up." I told W the only one screwing anyone up is her; that she's been so selfish and self-centered for last 2 yrs., she doesn't care what she does to anyone else." W's comback is she deserves it. She's owed being the center of attention, but that she's got the boys best interest @ heart. Ya, it REALLY sounds like it There's no telling what it's going to be like tonight. W keeps insisting Ss are going to live w/ her, but by statute W can't take them out of existing household. I don't want to get cops invovled in this. I don't want to do that to Ss. I just don't know how stable W is.
Things are getting ugly quick. Not only did W not let Ss see their GPs yesterday, but then W took them to her apt w/o letting me know where they were. W wouldn't return phone calls either. Took me a couple of hrs to find get in touch w/ them. W still won't tell me her adress or home phone # and she wouldn't answer her cell phone. Finally, one of the times I called her cell W did answer. She refused to bring the kids home. W even called the police. S8 told me this morning that M told Ss that I called the police. W is going to play lots of games w/ Ss. Everything she's doing is going to make it harder on the boys than it already is. S8 was telling me that he was mad @ M for not letting him play golf w/ GP yesterday and he told her. She told him he couldn't play golf b/c she wanted to spend time w/ Ss since it was going to be a very long time before I would let Ss see her again. When S8 asked me if I did call the police and I said no, he replied, "you mean M lied to us?" I didn't want to answer that one, but when he asked again I just told him I didn't call the police.
Still waiting on calls back from my L. I gotta figure out what my options are. W keeps lying to Ss, telling them I trying to keep them from her, I'm never going to let them see her again, I'm the one calling the police. Last summer when she kept threating to move out she told S8 that she was going to have his dog put down when they moved out. Somethings really wrong if a M will play mind games w/ her children to support her cause. She even told the P that she's afraid for her own safety from me
This is getting out of hand quick. I'm seriously starting to get concerned when she's alone w/ the Ss. I've gotta figure out how to protect the boys more.
Already headed that route. I just have to be careful w/ the judge we've been assigned. I don't want to get on his bad side. As my L has put it, "He's not a womb advocate, but he doesn't like people playing games." My hope and plan is to stay calm. We're looking at a possible temporary custody and restraining order to make sure Ss are safe. Also hoping that W keeps pulling a bunch of this stupid s*!$ and hangs herself.
Unfortuntely, or maybe more realistically, I don't think this is going to be one of those salvageable S or M. W dove head first back into, or never came out of MLC. Everything is now about her and its "owed to" her. I've actually started to feel sorry for W. She's so caught up in trying to improve herself that she doesn't see that she's hurting her Ss and destroying the most precious relationship she could ever have, her Ss. I hope it doesn't end up that way, but I see S8 growing up resenting her for what she's doing.
Spoke w/ S8 just a little bit ago. He's playing golf w/ GP. Called me @ the turn. Says he having a blast. Grabbin' a bite to eat then finishing the round.
Our actually D started last March/April. W tells me she wants a D, "hasn't been happy for yrs., hasn't L me for years. We did the "same-house" S for 7 mnths. D was actually filed and we were working on the parenting plan, financials, etc. Around end of Sept. W tells me she doesn't want the D. Realizes I understand her, she L me again, wants to work things out and that I wasn't the root of her problems. The D was dismissed and we started MC again. Stayed in MC for 6 mnths. This April, W tells me she doesn't want to work on it anymore. She has to figure out her purpose in life and can't do it while she's married to me. I got served 5/21. She officially moved out yesterday. Last night was her first night out of the house. So, that's why I was in piecing and now in seperated. I should probably be somewhere else, but this seemed like the natural progression.
Just got done reading Built4speed's last 6 months. I thought I had it bad. Although, I think I might be M to his W sister.
Not doubting W is definitely now and has been in a MLC, w/ a mild to moderate case of depression/bipolar thrown in, but the likelihood of another reconciliation seems slim to none. W refuses to admit any of above and has been in this stage for the majority of the last 2 yrs. W wants to reevaluate, concentrate on, and determine what her purpose in life is. With what W has been doing to Ss emotional state, right now I have a difficult time even thinking about her in a civil manner. I waiver btwn hating her guts, still L her and missing my 2yr absent W. I know right now she can't stand being around me and. Even if W made major decision change, I don't know if I would be willing to risk having Ss go through all over again. S8 starting to have real trust issues as it is now.
And actually, you have some complications compared to my sitch. At least my W has never really used the kids or messed with them vis-a-vis the D. Sometimes she yells at them too much but she has really tried to keep them out of it. I would not even know what to do if my W was doing what yours is to the kids. I really feel for ya.
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
There's no telling what it's going to be like tonight. W keeps insisting Ss are going to live w/ her, but by statute W can't take them out of existing household. I don't want to get cops invovled in this. I don't want to do that to Ss. I just don't know how stable W is.
