You know what COG~ you always put in perspective for me. You know I have such a strong relationship with GOD and I need to Quiet myself down and listen to the whisper more~ I got a Journal called " CLOSER TO GOD~" and I am going to take this down time today and read it thru. and you know what I have not taken any time " for me " to read it. NOT GOOD~
I actually bought it and thought of you,,, I opened it on Saturday at Sams Club and read a passage and I really thought of you and thought I need to get this for me to Journal and to post this passage to COG~ Each day has something beautiful. and you know what you said about strong people feel pain too~ MY OH MY~ I had an AHA moment!
MY H is always preaching he does x, y or z to make me stronger and wants me to be this pillar of STONE and yet I am the most loving giving caring person you will ever meet. My house is always full of kids and whether we have a fridge full or are not so blessed~ I always make dinner for all the kids that may be here. When I see a sad movie I cry and sometimes even weep. I rented FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS AND I WAS DOING OK UNTIL THE END AND I JUST WEPT, LIKE A LITTLE BABY. AND YOU KNOW WHAT MY H LOVES THIS ABOUT ME.
When I am trying to hold back the tears he will touch my arm cause then he knows the tears will come. When I saw Passion Of the Christ I wept.... I am in touch with GOD and it hurts me to see others suffer.... when I was at a vets office years ago and an elderly woman got weepy cause they were going to put her dog down,, I actually had to walk out so she would not see me tear up!
I am strong but I also am HUMAN and I love everything~ so to speak. So even people that have hurt me I forgive.... but I do also know that GOD does not want for me to suffer when others are blatantly trying to hurt me or not respect me. I must get stronger still and really put my foot down.
GOD put me here to live and be Happy not to turn my cheek so often it is RED! I need to focus even more on me and let go even more and show GOD how blessed I feel by being good to me,, it is ok and it is not selfish. So thank you for reminding me that strong people feel pain,, I never allowed myself to think they both fit actually! I was always trying to fight being so weepy when a sad movie is on or having a big heart... but I am going to start today to allow myself to be strong and those who do not want to share my beauty just rob me of it... A BIG FAT NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have suffered much in my life and I will not let anyone rob me anymore of my LIGHT. I get on my knees and pray and I am humble and I love without measure,, it is about damn time I give alot more of this to me! I am disciplined in my life and live as GOD would want me too and I am fed up with allowing others to come and try to darken it or jade me. So I do not need to stop being beautiful I just need to stop giving it away to those who do not deserve it. I did tell my H yesterday when he said what do you want so rudely... and proceeded to be rude. ...I THEN SAID " YOU can fool yourself all you want and say all these mean things but in the end you know this is love and you know this is right and you are wrong!" " I will always love you and live rigth even if it is by myself~" " I am strong." Thanks again COG~ your words give me strength~ I am so blessed to have you in my life~ you are very special~ God bless...
