I do agree with you mostly, but I believe that there is a right approach, just that it is different with each situation.
This is the key...each approach fits different situations. I would not recommend this approach for EVERYONE on the BB or on the DB path. One has to take the context of one's marriage and the spouse's personality type. For one, it may be enough to use a garden hose and others need a full blast of a fireman's hose to get the message across. Given Choc's history and his wife's "refusal" to be an intimate partner, I believe this exposure approach is the correct one. However, there is a fine line here---being firm about this and really pushing one over the edge. Just my personal opinion.
You said "lighten up"---which do you prefer: chocolate mousse or laughing gas?!
Choc,
Your wife's reaction is the typical scenario of a person who is heavily involved in the first bloom of an affair. Unfortunately, there's more of that coming down the road before it shifts into different direction(s). She's pissed that she's busted by you and others on what she's been up to lately. At this point, she wants to go underground so she can continue the secrective contact with the OM. This isn't too surprising. Eventually, something will give---the secrecy and covering one's tracks will become too exhausting and the OM will eventually push Mrs. Choc to make a "decision" about the marriage. Which will play out in your favor...she will waffle and vacillate between you and the OM. So, continue being the best option to the OM!
