OK, did you give him some good reasons to stop? I know my wife would tell me to stop doing things and it didn't work on me (I did the same, "stop trying to change me" crap) until she gave me a good reason. I drive fast and she would get pissed! I would drive faster because it upset me so much that she'd scream at me about it. Then one day, she said, please don't drive so fast, I don't feel safe for me or you or our son. I quit driving fast.
Now, may I ask you a question - why is trust so easily broken in a marriage relationship? I know he said he's stop and he didn't. Is he addicted? If he is, it's a compulsion to check the porn sites. Doesn't make it right, it just changes the dynamic I think. He's not doing it to hurt you, even though it is. But why lose trust in him? Forgive him his shortcomings and work with him as a partner, don't work against him. And don't let it destroy your trust, that's such a huge step. My W says she can't trust me because I kept things form her in an attempt to protect her from being hurt. Well, that backfired, but I asked her forgiveness and she says the trust is gone. Does she WANT it to be gone? Who knows. I'm just saying, don't let it get there without some real work.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
