You know what I've found is we have no idea what other people are telling our Ws. I was pretty convinced people were telling my W the same thing, get out, you can do better, etc. I was praying for someone to give her GOOD advice. But, it's all to help her feel better quicker (it doesn't have that effect.) Friends and family want us/them to feel better, and they think getting out will do that - eliminate the source of the pain. However, the source of the pain is not ONLY us as the spouse! It's a lack in the relationship caused to some extent by both parties. The only wasy to eradicate the pain is to drop the selfishness, forgive each other and WORK to make things better than ever. The old marriage is dead, the old YOU is dead, the new you is dedicated to being GREAT and making your marriage GREAT together.

Catfan, I can see you're on the right path now. Don't get discouraged by what you think other people might be telling your wife. They can't control her, or her feelings any more than you can - it's ALL up to her and you as partners to make this happen

We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.

3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...