What your W, her sister and the guy who marries her do is not your business and is incidental. But you are making it your business. Why? All because the guy may or may not be your wifes OM.
Let me ask this…..If your sister in law was marrying any other man out there, and your wife was helping her, would it still be affecting you this same way? Or is it because the “man” is the OM????
You can scroll through the pages here and find so many other wives/husbands spending tons of money on their affair and neglecting family expenses. You can read about husbands taking mistresses on expensive vacations, buying jewelry, etc, etc while the babies are at home without diapers. If you’re concerned about finances and your wife’s spending, there are ways to protect yourself - do it if it’s that much of a concern to you. It can be done hand-in-hand with your db practices.
I’m not condoning illegal immigration practices or affairs, but, you need to step back from this.
If your wife is playing you like a violin, then it only takes one change on your part to stop it from happening. And you know what? Any change from the norm may piss your wife off. She may get nastier. She may do things that seem crazier and crazier. She’s used to you giving in and when you finally stop doing that, she’s going to be confused. WHY? Because it’s going to force her to change. She’s playing you because she can. Think about a spoiled child and all the different ways they play their parents to get what they want. Sometimes a temper tantrum; sometimes crying, sometimes being sweet. You don’t have to give in to her behavior. Perhaps you cave because you’re afraid of change yourself. Who knows. Are you scared you’re going to lose her if you do things different? Think about that for a minute. Divorce busting asks us to sometimes go against our usual routine; to do things different even whne the different scares the heck out of us. Even when it seems like what we’re about to do is going to push our spouse away. So then we stop the divorce busting practices. We give in. Because we’re scared.
If you’re finding yourself unable to detach from all this craziness, take a breather. Get yourself together whatever way you can. Go dark (it can be done while living in the same house). Or move out. Get all your legal ducks in a row. You don’t have to file for separation or divorce if you’re not comfortable doing that right now. And think about the reasons why you are considering it anyway. Is it a scare tactic? Then you might find yourself divorced, even if that wasn’t your intent. Don’t make idle threats that are only being said to manipulate your wife.
It just seems that you are overly concerned with anything and everything your wife is doing and not understanding that you don’t control her. You cannot make her do anything she does not want to do. Start focusing on yourself for awhile.
