Sorry to you, Stig, LG and Blackfoot for my slow response. I've been a little busy with my plan, and with, frankly, practically being a "single dad" these days, but I'm trying to circle back and catch up with each of you that took the time to post.
And yes, it's amazing -- and scary -- when you get up off the dime, and begin to take back your life.
Thank you so much for your loving encouragement. Yes, NOP's road is hard, but the vital ones in life always are, and especially so when you've let them grow over with weeds and debris for far too many years. PATIENCE is the thing I'm having the hardest time with, as I know I've got this 26-mile marathon of marriage repair ahead of me (if it even is to be), and yet I can't even seem to get out of the pre-race stretching area. Until my wife agrees to NO CONTACT and agrees to re-join our family emotionally, we cannot hope to begin the repair process, and that makes me anxious.
My sister told me that "God will break you before He fixes you," and I would add that "you have to WANT (or at least be open to) to being broken."
My wife is not yet there; she is hanging onto her crack stash, and until she lets that go, all I can do is lead my family and work on me, while being loving with her but 100% firm with my boundaries -- which I have done.
And I would never tell you to jump off a cliff, my dear Corri. Cuz I've spent some time over the edge of it the past 3-1/2 weeks, and it sukks down there. Lots of woolly creepy things in the crevaces.
