I will stop beating myself up,,,will he? I dunno if I can live up to this perfact image. I guess he said he has had enough of everyone HE TOLD ME ( INCLUDING HIS PARENTS) and now I let him down too~ why do I get INCLUDED in the pile... I do not ask him for more than he can give? or for foolish things. He still is mad about glasses he bought me last year, but he will spend 200 dollars drinking and not bat an eyelash!I naively forgot he is still in MLC.???... I just should have never answered her call. I guess I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON. I LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY TOO MUCH! I love him but I need to not let himbring me down. Tomorrow I will be looking into strating my career as a Cosmetologist ( hairstylist) again. My kids come first and I cannot let this bring me down again. I will not ride this rollercaoster again. He said he gave it his al and I did not so he is done. I messed up and this is all my fault! I willnot surrender, i will take care of me and my kids.. I dunno where he is at but i need to take care of myself and my kids! I love hi mbut this is not tyhe man I spoke to this morning. He has apparently been drinking since Friday nite and I will just pray for him like I did last year! GOD help me and him! Maybe I sound too dramatic but he was very cruel and very serious.... I am not playing and he said " I am tired of playing games with you!" This to me is not love...." God bless ...
