What a day you've had! Your time at the C's sounds positive, at least from what she saw in you. That's great!
My day was much less eventful -- H came and picked up the boys for their last day of school, I went to work, I came home from work, H was here with the boys & S1's girlfriend and left, we ate and that was it.
BUT, I did manage to be fairly dark today. I only talked briefly with H at both times - and each time only to clarify schedules - and didn't call at all. If I can do that tomorrow, I'm on a roll. Not all that exciting, but maybe setting me up for more success.
I'm reading this book by Pema Chodron, a Buddhist teacher, about dealing with bad things in life. She talks about how when things are shaky and nothing is working, that we are on the verge of something very tender and healing; that when we experience the groundlessness of change we can either wake ourselves up or put ourselves to sleep. I think that if I can keep holding these kind of ideas in my head, maybe I'll be able to let go of what I want H to be doing and instead be ready for what I will be out of this. Sunday was enough to make me just lose it, and I know I can't live like that. I need to find ways to hold onto patience and keep going forward - no matter what.
See, the rollercoaster is about midway up; I just hope that this isn't one of those "water flume" type hills and instead is only a short bump hill. (I know there will be a down side, but maybe it can be a short drop!)
So, what color fingernail polish were you going to buy?
