Thank you so much sweetie for your encouragement. I love to come on here and read a few words of encouragement!!!
Yes I am becoming so much stronger.. even this morning my H said to me" ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?" and I answered " YEAH~" ( in a nice voice) and he said "OK~" ..... NOW THAT IS PROGRESS! I do not want to ever be that bossy wife you see at the store and when she speaks her H cringes... but I do enjoy when he is receptive to me telling him what to do now and again. He also explains things to me so much more ... where he used to be so buttoned lip about everything!!!! It was hard on our R cause there was not much to talk about and he never really let me in. Yesterday he was a doll on the phone lots more ILY's.....
Today our son had a presentation at school.. he was Henry Ford and right before he presented I called hubby and asked if he was busy ... he said "NO~" SO HE LISTENED... I let him go afterward and called him later and he said he almost cried when he heard our son and to tell him he was so proud of him and that he did a great job. Last year he barely batted an eyelash at them ( our kids) and for years he was afraid to get close ,, so when we hung up. I shed a few tears of JOY.... this is good, I feel so blessed. He always said he was trying to help me get strong. I am well on my way to being the strong Woman I should have been all along and he is on his way to being the Man I knew he was under all that.... It is really amazing actually and it is hard to put into words. I/WE wasted so much time , so much time. I plan on making up for it. So many lost oppurtunities for me to smile and be just me. All we all want is just to be loved and it seems so simple just a few words but it really is hard to get to ... and once you are there you wonder what the hell you were doing before instead of this! Greater than the gift of having him in my arms at nite is the gift of knowing ... I was left and I never gave up and kept going and now my children will benefit from seeing their parents love eachother so, so much! {and... my daughters from seeing one hell of a strong WOMAN!!!!!} God bless....
I let him go afterward and called him later and he said he almost cried when he heard our son and to tell him he was so proud of him and that he did a great job. Last year he barely batted an eyelash at them ( our kids) and for years he was afraid to get close ,, so when we hung up. I shed a few tears of JOY.... this is good, I feel so blessed.
Quote:
He is changing and that is for sure. he is finally giving me himself. I have waited ten years for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These are the things you get in return for giving him all of YOURSELF!
Congrats!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
I have had a major setback and I duuno how to put it all in here... this is why I was walking on eggshells for so long and not letting go.... my ex friend wanted me to call her boyfriend she called no less than 15 times sobbing and I was stupid, naive and just I dunno! .. I told her NO several times and then I did .... he lives/works with my h out of town and my H is furious.
he told me he is done with me and he doesn't care about me and lots of other hurtful things... I have a lump in my throat and I dunno what to do. He told me not to cal him.
Mind you I never talked to her bf I talked to my hubby an dhe is furious that I got involved... so I guess I am really back to square one........ WOW this is too, too much . I cannot even describe how let down I feel!
I even had the bravery to call him earlier today and say Ily the minute he answered the phone and he said Ily2... I felt so happy.
I feel so upset now and I dunno if I have it in me to be strong again... I will try very hard but I dunno if I can....
I feel ready to just .. I dunno. I feel so dumb! SO FOOLISH! God bless...
I don't know your sitch at all but I could tell you need a hug.
It's just one phone call. You can recover. Please stop beating yourself up ok?
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Thanx sweetie.. he called before and asked if I had called.. I said "no I haven't called you since we spoke last" and he said someome had been calling him private 15 times.. it was her?.. I guess? I said ..." it is probably XXXXXXXX I told her not to call me ever again that I am sorry for her troubles but I am done being nice." he said " ok I will call you later" I am so frustrated right now this is just ridiculous! He has not called ... this is too much for me and I dunno why I let her suck me in.. I felt sorry for her and look what it got me. Sure it is just a phone call but he is actually trying to call a bluff that he is done this is far toooo too much! He has broken my heart and I am ok but very, very hurt! thanks NIKKIB you did calm me dowm some and that bottle of wine is in the toilet cause my body is not used to that! I WILL BE OK JUST FEELING ALOT RIGHT NOW.. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO THROW AWAY SOMETHING SO GOOD OVER A MISTAKE? LOVE, ALI
Ali - He's not going to throw it away over you calling him about that woman calling you. To my mind, you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't even talk to the BF for Pete's sake, just spoke to your H about it.
If he wants to make a big deal about this, it's because he's LOOKING for an excuse, imho. Ignore him, ignore the behavior, go a little bit dark. It is NOT okay for him to react in this way.
I will stop beating myself up,,,will he? I dunno if I can live up to this perfact image. I guess he said he has had enough of everyone HE TOLD ME ( INCLUDING HIS PARENTS) and now I let him down too~ why do I get INCLUDED in the pile... I do not ask him for more than he can give? or for foolish things. He still is mad about glasses he bought me last year, but he will spend 200 dollars drinking and not bat an eyelash!I naively forgot he is still in MLC.???... I just should have never answered her call. I guess I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON. I LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY TOO MUCH! I love him but I need to not let himbring me down. Tomorrow I will be looking into strating my career as a Cosmetologist ( hairstylist) again. My kids come first and I cannot let this bring me down again. I will not ride this rollercaoster again. He said he gave it his al and I did not so he is done. I messed up and this is all my fault! I willnot surrender, i will take care of me and my kids.. I dunno where he is at but i need to take care of myself and my kids! I love hi mbut this is not tyhe man I spoke to this morning. He has apparently been drinking since Friday nite and I will just pray for him like I did last year! GOD help me and him! Maybe I sound too dramatic but he was very cruel and very serious.... I am not playing and he said " I am tired of playing games with you!" This to me is not love...." God bless ...
Ali- Does it make sense for your H to be reacting this way? Seems to me that if it is his opinion that you shouldn't get involved, then he should be expressing it rationally...not telling you he is done. Of course, from what I understand about MLC, they aren't very rational when it comes to their spouses. So, that being said, how are you to know how he is going to react over anything? Why are you beating yourself up over this? It just might have been that he was destine to have this drama no matter what you did. Try not to stress about it and see what happens. Take the attitude that you didn't deserve his reaction and he is the one in the wrong! Just my humble opinion.
Thank you so much sweetie for your encouragement. I love to come on here and read a few words of encouragement!!!
I have had a major setback and I duuno how to put it all in here... this is why I was walking on eggshells for so long and not letting go.... my ex friend wanted me to call her boyfriend she called no less than 15 times sobbing and I was stupid, naive and just I dunno! .. I told her NO several times and then I did .... he lives/works with my h out of town and my H is furious.