Stop arguing? I know arguing was a stake in the heart of our marriage the last 6 months. If your spouse thinks every time you talk, it's going to be an argument, they'll quit talking and start thinking, and all those thoughts are negtive. Give him something positive to think about by just being friendly, and talking things though in a calm manner. It's challenging, but it works and then you get used to acting like that and BOOM you've just created a 180 for yourself and it benefits your spouse too. Try that.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
I really don't try to argue, it just seems to happen. We only argue about the relationship of course. It is so hard to remain positive when you feel like your life is out of control. Is there any hope left in my relationship? If he is taking it one day at a time and not really thinking about the relationship, then can my behavior get him to stop and think about coming home. He denies that there is someone else and if there was he would tell me becuase it would make things easier. He is currently staying with his mom and she wants us to stay together. Can she hellp him to see that the relationship is worth fixing when he feels that for the past 2 years he has been unhappy and I have been lazy and he believes that he has tried and we are jsut not meant to be together anymore. I am just so confused and all I can think about is this relationship. The angry part of me wants to pack up all of his stuff and make this difficult for him. WHat I mena is all of his toys (motorcyle) is here at the house and when I am at work he comes over and uses the computer and rides his motorcyle. I also let him come over here to see our daughter due to his time being so limited. The emotional part of me wants to cry and find a way for him to come home. I have been through this in the past and he eventually left for good and I can't help but think of it happening again.
Get out your Divorce Rememdy book and start reading. Do the things Michelle tells you to. She's had lots of success, and it can work for you too. It actually sounds like you have some good support. Just get your head right, and you do have a chance, there is always hope.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
I am waiting for the book to come in. Yes I do have some support, but it didn't work last time. I guess for tonight if he plans to say for dinner I am going to try to act cool and not bring up the relationship unless he does. He most likely won't stay for dinner due to this morning, but if he does I am hoping for a peaceful one.
Just a question, does anyone know how a way to remove the feeling of sickness from your stomach. I am a basket case, can't eat, sleep and I am shaky like nervous energy. I know I work in the Mental Health industry, but I am not myself right now and I need to get some kind of control.
And in my case anti anxiety meds and more. Lorazipam (Ativan) is commonly used. Ask your therapist about it.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Well I don't have a therpist, but I might be needing one soon. The meds might be an answer even though tehy take a few weeks to start. He came over for dinner after taking D swimming. He said it was good. I thanked him for coming over. He said he would call later and hugged me on the way out the door. When he was hugging me he said you know I love you. So all it all it was a nice time with him. After he left I start readinig into to things thinking well that went well so that must mean good things. Patience is not one of my virtures. Does anyone have any tips on how to not read into to things and not get excited. I am afraid that I am going to get my hopes up.
Yeah, you take the moment for what it was, store it away with the other little positive signs you might get and forget about it the best you can, for now. That will help alleviate the roller-coaster a little bit. It is dang hard, but you can do it.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
