I know that this may not be exactly appropriate, but I am glad to know I am not alone. I guess I mean that it feels good to know that other people know the emotions that a person goes through with this
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
We're not alone and actually I relived it last year with my sister and her H, and my SIL and his 3rd wife. H was in IRAQ for 10 mths.was okay for two months and then bam! He does it again and becomes an alien again. Is it the water?? H had even gone so far as reassured my sister and SIL that the men were fools b/4 he went off and cheated again. Go figure... Now he defends his Brother at all costs. My sis and her H are now back together and trying to salvage their M. BIL is still with his OW.
Even so ladies, we will be okay thru this and after this. I'll be praying for you.
We're not alone and actually I relived it last year with my sister and her H, and my SIL and his 3rd wife. H was in IRAQ for 10 mths.was okay for two months and then bam! He does it again and becomes an alien again. Is it the water?? H had even gone so far as reassured my sister and SIL that the men were fools b/4 he went off and cheated again. Go figure... Now he defends his Brother at all costs. My sis and her H are now back together and trying to salvage their M. BIL is still with his OW.
Even so ladies, we will be okay thru this and after this. I'll be praying for you.
We had a dr. appointment yesterday for our daughter. Ended up spending 2 hrs. together. We also had our son with us. We played, laughed and had a good time (all four of us). After the appointment, my husband found 2 reasons to call me. Yes, it was about the kids, but not anything that could have waited or even been text for. He text me right away this morning as well. I saw him in the office today, he waited around to talk to me. Once he saw that I was not leaving the office right away, he then came to my classroom to talk to me. He told me he that he enjoyed yesterday. He also said, "This is so hard." I agreed, and then we talked about everyday things. I am so tired of the rollercoaster. I know I have to ride it, but it is so tough.
My h uses that exact same line all the time..."This is so hard". I tell him no matter what we do it is going to be hard. Getting divorced is not going to make this easier. I so bad want to say to him that he took the easy out of our lives when you got involved with the ow, but I refrain from that. That won't help anything.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Hummmm.... I think you might try working toward developing a good friendship with your husband. Don't think of him as your husband at this point, but a friend and co-parent. That will help you let go of expectations and a wee bit of the jealousy and anger towards OW. It seems like you've had a lot of little storms throughout your marriage and a more relaxed friendship would help bring you closer (even if the divorce does go through... you won't lose anything being friends. That doesn't mean giving up what you are entitled to or want in the divorce. Keep that separate from the friendship).
BTW, I've known people who divorced and then two years later (after growing up a bit) remarry. Of course, that doesn't always happen, but being friends never hurts....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I am doing great, thank you MsR8t. I cannot log on quite as much, now that school is out for summer. Hopefully, I will have access at home soon. I having been feeling great the past couple of weeks. I have started training for my marathon, WOW, excercise helps! I've been walking since I have been out on my own, but now I do more and it is more strenuous. My H apologized to me yesterday. He actually said, "I am sorry, this is all my fault, I should have never did the things that I have done." I told him thank you and that I appreciated his apology. He continued to say that he keeps thinking about the Dr. appointment and how he never wanted this for our family. I explained that I didn't either, but it is what it is. I do not know how else to respond. He then told me that he drove by the house that we were supposed to buy and that I am on his mind more recently, because our babies are looking more and more like me. I told him, that regardless of the situation, we are stuck together for the rest of our lives because of our babies and that I will try to make the best of things, it is just going to take time. He understood. He is also beginning to settle on things in the D so it will fit some of my needs as well. WOW! Time does really pay off. I feel great and he finally saw the light and apologized. I feel like it has lifted a weight off my shoulder and that I can really start to put closure on the past. I told him that if I could go back and change things, I wouldn't, because I have become such a better and stronger person. I actually like myself now.
Always..........more news. I confronted OW yesterday, I know you might think this is crazy and I shouldn't have done it, but i had to in order to let her know where I stood as far as my children were concerned. I was very calm and let her know that if she and my H continue, that in future, I don't owe her anything. I told her that i will never respect her and as far as my children go, I didn't want her to even look at my children let alone touch them. I said that I knew I cannot control it, but I need her to know. Also, I told her that if she is ever around my babies, I wanted her to take a good look at them and to realize what she helped in taking away from them. Throughout the conversation, it came up that my H still had feelings for me. He called me last night and told me that he has ended it with her and that he is only focus on himself and that the only person he cared to make things right with is me. He said that when he was going through some of our things, he got to our wedding pictures and he just couldn't get rid of them and that he still had his ring. He said he didn't expect anything out of us, except a friendship and he hopes that i can find it in his heart to forgive him. He said, "I am going to make things right. I made a mess out of things and now I need to fix them." I don't know. A lot of others things happened in between, but too much for me to write about right now.................................................. I put closure on things and moved on......................now what?????
