I see. Well, I can help you with one thing. Pretty easy topic actually.
No, your R is not just like any other R out there. For instance, I have a great M of a kind that I didn't even conceive was possible with XH. Nor, would such an R have been possible with XH.
Don't NOT talk because you are afraid H won't respond. Talk. Say your peace. If H doesn't say anything back, that IS his response.
You are back to being afraid of being a WAS because you hold such disdain for them. First, WASs aren't evil. Second, you wouldn't be a WAS if you clearly and unmistakably express where you are to H and he chooses to not take the actions necessary for changing your M into one you want to stay in.
It is easy enough not to be a WAS. Having made a genuine effort in your M (which you have) and giving fair warning (which you can do) is all that is required.
